Broken (Andy Biersack love story)

Chapter 4

We drove away from the venue, and we were already were checked out from the last hotel we stayed at. It was finally time to go to Matt's house. The drive there felt like it took forever, I just wanted to sleep and I felt like crying because for once things were going right in my life. I do love the fact that I'm with Matt and Val, but I also wanted to be with Black Veil Brides, that sounds very cheesy, but I felt so welcomed with them. I didn't like crying because it made me feel weak, I know it doesn't make me look weak, but I guess it was just all in my head. After what seemed like 10 hours we arrived at Matt's house. I sat in my car for awhile and I decided to check the messages my mum left.

Most telling me to come home, threatening to call the cops, telling me she loves me, then some telling me she hates me. She was a batshit crazy woman, but she was my mom. Honestly I didn't care if she wanted me home or not, I would rather stay with Matt than her, we all jumped out of the cars. We all went into Matt's house, no one spoke to each other for awhile. I just sat there in silence while Matt and Val were talking about their relationship, shit I didn't bother to listen I was too pissed off about having to leave Black Veil Brides and my mum, I sound very childish. They stopped talking I looked up and they were staring at me like I killed a man, "What?!" I snapped at them. "Aqua what's wrong and don't give me an attitude." Val told me. She isn't my mum so why is talking to me like she was my mum. I wanted to go off on her, but that would be so damn stupid of me to do after all she did for me today. I just let it go and let out a little sigh.

I couldn't stay here, I decided it was time for me to runaway again. I know how stupid and childish this all seems, I just wanted to live my life right now and I didn't wanna stay here. I love them both to death and I'm so happy they wanted me to stay here with them. I'm forever grateful for that, but this isn't what I wanna be doing in my life. This isn't what feels right to me right now. I was so ready to leave and try to be one my own.

I know it was my dream to stay with them but I can't right now, I just wanted to get away from everyone and anyone. They took me to my room, it was quite nice. "Yell if you need anything sis." Matt said calmly. I didn't want to hurt them, because my selfish ways but I need to leave. I just give him a big hug and told him I loved him and missed him so much, after all that they walked off to their room. I threw myself on the bed and let out a low sigh. It's gonna break my heart to just leave Matt and Val like this, but I wanted to get away, I wish I could see him again I thought to myself. I went on my twitter and Andy has followed me. Seeing that made me so happy and giddy, my smile was huge and it started to hurt my face.

I couldn't believe it he followed me. I just lied down on my bed, and the thoughts over took me. Even though Andy followed me, and everything seemed to be going good for me something was edging me to cut again. I started to panic, I hated this feeling. It seemed to just linger in me, I could be having the best time and I could be happy, but that urge to cut still stays. I wish I could just get rid of it and be okay for once. But it doesn't leave and I just have to deal with it. I lied there in silence, and I let my mind take the wheel. I put my iPod on shuffle and Wasteland by 10 Years started to play, hoping the music helps ease my mind and gives me some relief. After what seemed likes forced just laying there in the dark and thinking I decided to put my pjs on. I put on a loose white tank top, and some black spandex shorts.

I brushed my teeth and put my hair up in a messy bun, I lied down again. I was thinking about how the brain has 7 minutes left of activity after you die, am I actually alive or am I dead and just reliving memories. I was partly falling asleep and something loud as fuck went off, and scared me. I sat up straight and looked around me, there was no one and my iPod wasn't playing music anymore. So I got curious and went downstairs to find Syn, Zacky, and Johnny giving my brother a hug. I smiled and my eyes began to water. I haven't seen these guys in years, it's been so long since I actually saw them. They looks much older and happier. It was nice to see them happy and living the dream they always wanted. I remember them practicing their songs they wrote back then or covered songs in the garage.

I leaned against the door frame, they looked over at me. I snapped out of my thoughts and I swear their eyes almost popped out of their heads after they realized it was me. Syn ran towards me and gave me a hug, then Johnny and Zacky gave me a warm hug. "Seemed like you guys really missed me, huh?" I smirked at them. "You bet your sweet little self I did." Syn said and put his arm around me. I could feel Matt's eyes burning a hole into him and I. No one knew I had have a crush on him and Zacky back then, but I don't really have any feelings for them now. Matt laughed and tried to play off pushing Syn away from me and standing between us. It felt very uncomfortable. After awhile of them talking about going back on tour in a few weeks, I started to wonder where Jimmy was. (This was before Jimmy died) "Um if you don't mind, where is Jimmy?"

They looked at me asif I just shot man. "He is on his way, why?" Johnny answered. "Just wondering I haven't seen him in a while." He just nodded and put his attention back to the guys. I wanted to see Jimmy before I actually left, he was one of the guys I was able to tell everything to, he was honestly my second brother. "HEY WHERE IS EVERYONE?!?" Jimmy screamed into the house. I loved his hype, big personality. He brought happiness and light to any room he entered and I loved it. I ran towards him and gave him a giant hug. "Hey short peanut, when did you arrive?" I giggled at the name used for me. "Just got here today."
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"Oh, well I missed you like fuck." I gave him a peck on the cheek. "Hey where's my kiss?" Syn looked at me with puppy eyes. Matt trying to stay calm, but he nudged him in the arm pretty hard. I just walked past him, then turned around and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled, I walked up to my room. 'How am I going to do this' I thought. Well I'll leave when they are in bed and when the guys are gone. So I waited until they left, about 3 hours later they all left. I gabbed my bags I had already packed earlier and my keys, I opened the window it was like a 7ft drop but could make it. I threw my bags to the ground, and I jumped down. I made it safely I gabbed my bags put them in the car and stared the car and with that I left.