Wrong Number - A Josh Richards Fanfic

Say No To This

Josh's POV:

I sigh as I continue to scroll through my For You Page and sigh when one of Jaden's video's come up, of him, Mads, and Ant all vibing together. I haven't slept in a week, I am weak, but I'm awake... I flop down onto the bed and stare at the bathroom door as it opens, and I see Nessa fresh out the shower. (DRESSED OFC) She smiles her sickly sweet smile at me and comes over to where I'm laying, deciding to lie down next to me. She grabs my hand and I tense up. She senses this and lets go and I immediately relax.

"What's wrong Joshy?" I flinch as she uses the same nickname Mads used to. 

"Nothing..." I say, distant. She smiles a wide smile, looking me in the eye.

"I know something's up. I bet I can help you with it though..." She says, leaning in.
Say no to this. 
Lord, show me how to say no to this. 
In my mind I'm trying to go, then her mouth is on mine and I don't say no. Instead I lean in as well, and kiss her in return. I feel her smile and I allow her to deepen the kiss.
I don't know how to say no to this...
But my god, she looks so helpless...
I sigh as we continue to kiss and she pulls me closer. 
Why does something I know is wrong feel so right?
We continue to kiss, but something nags the back of my head. This goes on for about 2 minutes before I realize and break apart with a start. She looks at me blankly. 

"I am ruined, how could I do this?" I say in anger, getting up and punching the wall. I don't need to turn back to know her eyes have welled up with tears, her breath is shaky and there is a quiver in her voice. I grab my backpack and start to walk out of her room when she shouts to me. 

"Please don't leave me I am helpless..." She yells, drifting off at the end. I sigh and continue for the door, but she comes over and kisses me again. "Nobody needs to know..." She whispers in my ear. I give into the kiss for about 4 seconds before I pull away roughly and walk out, down her stairs and out her house, leaving her behind with a stunned look on her face. 
God, what've I done now?
Well I've hurt the only girl I've ever loved, for starters. 
And I still stayed with Nessa. 
How could I do this?

(A/N: Okay, short chapter again because my wrist still hurts, but I didn't want to leave you guys with nothing. Oh and Josh is highkey digging his own grave. And also, if you get all the references in this chapter, I LOVE YOU! Anyways, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it! K, bye bby's 💖✌🏻)