Faded Heart

XI. Grocery Delivery

Ever since I was a kid there was  times where I stayed up all night thinking. My mind raced, not able to make sense of what was going on around me. There were times where I would just sit up and stare at the ceiling all night long. The worst had been during times like tonight where I didn't even feel like I got an ounce of sleep.

I didn't want to see my parents today. I did everything possible to avoid them this morning and only came out of hiding, in my room, when I knew they were long gone. Luckily, Elise was also still at the Cameron's for the day so I could send some time figuring out what the next step was.

Since the internet and cell service was still down here, this led me to sit outside and simultaneously bask in the sun and my impending doom. This whole situation was causing a giant pit in my stomach and on top of that I had a headache from drinking at the party last night. I did my best to cover up all signs of my misery with a large pair of sunglasses and a messy bun. I hope I didn't look as bad as I felt though.

I didn't know what I was going to do when my parents got home from work. I wanted so badly to just confront them about this, but I didn't know where that would get me. The other thing that racked my brain all night was figuring out why Ward Cameron was at the office last night. There was truly no reasonable explanation for it.

For some reason the patio sectional was more comfortable than my bed. I was starting to finally calm down when I was interrupted by someone joining me.

"Madam, your groceries have arrived." A familiar voice said, knocking me out of my trance. My heart skipped a beat when I realized who that voice belonged to.

"That's weird because I was really looking forward to Pope bringing the groceries today." I replied, sitting up to look at the boy standing in front of me. His arms were filled with groceries my parents ordered from Heyward's grocery store. I didn't know JJ worked there, but I wasn't surprised considering he was close with Pope.

"Well you're out of luck because I'm here today." He answered, setting the groceries down on the table in front of me.

"Great." I sighed, leaning back on to the sofa. Last night I was a little bit too emotional with him. There was something kindling between us, but I didn't want to get too deep into it. It just seemed best to put up the walls before I got hurt.

"Are you okay?" He asked, sitting down in the loveseat across from me.

"Yeah. Just tired." I said, standing up and grabbing the groceries. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now. I just wanted to be alone.

He stood up just as quickly and started grabbing bags from the table, so I didn't have to carry them myself. "Let me help you." I was getting the sense he wasn't going to leave me alone.

"What do you want from me, JJ? I've done everything you wanted me to do. I broke into my parents offices with you. I'm just ending up getting hurt. I can't process anything." I reply, grabbing the remaining groceries and storming into the house. What I said was the truth, I couldn't take going out to look for anything else today. I felt like his whole purpose coming here wasn't to deliver groceries, it was to see what the next move was.

"Dammit, Emerson. You do this every time something gets too hard for you. You shut down and hide. Just like when we were kids, you always rush to judgment of everything. I didn't come here to talk to you about your parents, I came here to see you and make sure you were alright. Maybe let someone care about you for once without being so rude to them." It was like he read my mind as he followed me into the kitchen, the remaining groceries in his hands.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, he was right though. "Just go." I shouted, throwing the groceries on the floor, without caring what was inside the bags. I didn't care at this point, although he was right I was heated about everything going on. He was just the first person I'd seen, so I took it out on him. The best thing for me was to hide my sadness with anger. If I let whatever I was feeling out now it would be too much for me to handle. My back was facing him so that I didn't have to see him, it was easiest that way.