Faded Heart

XXI. Everything I Wanted

The last thing that I needed right now was to be alone with my thoughts. But, here I was sitting on the docks and staring out into the water while thinking about everything that was wrong with my life right now. To start, I was basically homeless and the only friends that I had all hated each other at the moment. I just felt like everything was hopeless...

The thing that upset me the most right now was that I'd never have a good relationship with my parents again. What once was a good relationship with them was now most likely hatred on their part. Even if I did go home and beg for their forgiveness, I don't think they'd ever truly forgive me for what I did. There would always be the lingering thought in the back of their mind that I had turned against them and I was never to be trusted again.

To them the Slaney name was everything. We were founders of the island and held a precious place in history. I had done everything I could to slander the family name. What I had done was throw away being a Slaney forever. In their eyes that was the worst crime that anyone could commit towards the family. The best thing I could do was try to rid them from my life forever.

There was no more Kook life for me. That meant no more Audi's or expensive vacations to the Bahamas. What once meant everything to me was now nothing. Even though I was upset about my place with my parent's, it felt damn good to be free of everything that the Kook life offered.

The only thing left to hope for was that we would find the gold and the trust fund I would be given when I turned eighteen. JJ and I could leave the island and start fresh somewhere else. There'd be no last names, no parents, no remnants of the past. It would be just us two starting our lives off somewhere far away from here. I was starting to think that I didn't need the gold for just JJ, I needed it for myself. The stress of everything was becoming two much for me, I needed an escape.

The only thing that hurt me about leaving the island was the thought of leaving Elise behind with my parents. What life would I be giving her if I took her on the run with JJ and I. If Elise never found out about my parents, she'd be ok. She was thirteen, she didn't truly understand what was going on. She'd still be given a good life that she deserved. I don't know if I could give that to her, when I couldn't even guarantee myself a good life. This treasure was in the grasp, but it wasn't ours yet. There still was a huge possibility that we wouldn't get it. I didn't know what I would do if we couldn't get the gold. My trust fund could only get us so far. With 50 million dollars each, JJ and I could surely have a good life together somewhere far away from here.

In order for us to ever have a chance at getting the gold from the bottom of the well, we needed the whole group to be on the same page. Right now, we were not even close to being at that point. Everyone was hating each other right now. But, if Kiara would just budge, I think things could begin to fall into place. I was willing to put the bullshit aside to find the gold, I think everyone else was willing to do that too.

"Hey." The hushed voice of my handsome blonde boyfriend says, breaking me out of my trance. I turned my head back towards him to see he was standing over me. I must have been so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't heard him walking down the docks towards me.

"Hi." I reply, with a soft smile, trying to hide the fact that I had just spent the last hour deep in an existential crisis. The last thing that I wanted to do was burden JJ with any more of my problems. I had already bothered him enough with my craziness, I didn't need to pile any more on the poor guy. "Did you guys come up with a plan?"

"Yeah." He answers, sitting down next to me and dangling his legs off the dock as well. His shoulder brushed against mine as softly leaned against me. I could tell there was more to what he wanted to tell me, but he kept it brief before changing the subject, "It's best if we meet with John and Ashtyn later and discuss the plan then. Right now, I think we need to just chill out for a bit."