Between Dusk and Dawn (Love Lies in Ilocos Norte) COMPLETED

XXI

Hindi parin matapos tapos ang pagpatak ng luha ko. Mahigpit ang hawak ko sa strap ng bag na kung saan ko nilagay ang mga gamit.

Ang mga nahawakan lang ng kamay ko ang inilagay ko sa bag, hindi na ako naghalungkat pa.

"K-kuya. Saan po tayo pupunta?" ilang beses na rin akong nagtanong.

May dalawang lalake sa harap, maliban doon ay wala nang tao. Sa loob ng malaking van ay ako lang ang nasa likod.

My bag is placed on my lap as I uncomfortably fidgeted to see where we are going.

Hindi nila ako sinagot. They just keep talking to themselves in low whispers na parang sinisigurong hindi ko marinig.

I bit my lower lip as fresh tears fell down to my cheeks again.

Napakasakit na ang ulo ko dahil sa kaiiyak at sa dinami daming nangyari sa araw na ito.

I looked outside, napakadilim ng paligid at hindi ko alam kung nasa Manila pa ba kami.

Naramdaman ko ang sarili kong manginig sa takot, sa lahat lahat. My mind is full of people, the people I love. Whom I am now leaving behind.

I was just shopping with Krysthel a moment ago, but why it felt like it was years?

Mama is still in the hospital, and I don't know if what they're saying is true. Hindi ko kayang tanggapin ang sinasabi nila. Mama, dead? That can't be, she's so strong. Kakayanin niya lahat.

Napahikbi ako. Paano kung totoo? I can't even think about it.

And the Gonzalez. The Gonzalez did it? But they were like a second family to us. They care for me, they care for Mama. Doc. Renzo is Papa's best friend and Mama and Tita Martha too. Hindi nila magagawa iyon.

Remember, satan was an angel too.

Paano nila nagawa iyon? Pinanood nilang mamatay si Mama? Doc. Renzo? No, he can't do it.

Isa na namang hikbi ang nakawala. I badly need someone to agree with me na hindi magagawa ng mga Gonzalez iyon. I need someone to tell me na nananaginip lang ako and I will wake up too.

I will wake up and eat breakfast na si Mama ang nagluto. I will kiss her cheeks before she go to work. I will cook dinner for her bago siya umuwi para hindi na siya mahirapan pa.

I covered my mouth as another sob came. I badly need someone to tell me all of those. If Mama is really gone, then I need someone to feed me lies. Tell me that everything's gonna be okay.

Therence. Therence will be there. Bumalik sa akin ang pagtawag ko sa kanya. Why would a girl receive my call and knows that he is asleep?

Pero sabi niya busy siya. Oh God, what did I do to deserve this?

The excruciating pain is inside my chest again, marking my insides, tattooing my brain.

I closed my eyes, the headache is at its worst, and let the total darkness consume me.

Masakit pa rin ang ulo ko nang iminulat ko ang aking mga mata. Tumingin ako sa bintana at nakitang bumiyabiyahe parin kami.

The sun is almost rising for the trees are almost visible. Nasa lugar kami kung saan maraming puno. This is absolutely not Manila.

"Nasaan na po tayo, Kuya?" I felt panic crept in.

Mabilis ang pagpapatakbo ng driver ng van at sigurado akong dahil yun sa walang traffic.

Hindi nila ako sinagot at tumahimik na lang rin ako.

The pain returned again when I began to think kung bakit ako nandito. But unlike last night, I can, well not fully, but my mind is in better condition now.