Katniss and Peeta's Life Continued

Chapter 8

I stand in the frosted snow in disbelief. Did he really just ask me that question? To choose my husband or my best friend. I can only see my breath as my jaw drops to the floor. Wide eyed I walk back towards Jenny and Peeta who are playfully throwing snowballs at each other. My mind is racing a billion miles and hour trying to process those four simple words. Make. A. Choice. Catnip. It rings in my ears and throbs in my head giving me a headache. The words bounce off the walls in my brain. Peeta gives me a wave, but I don't acknowledge it. I make a beeline for the cabin and shuffle inside. I flop on the couch and stare up at the speckled ceiling. My vision starts to blur as tears gather into my eyes. The warm salty tears dribble down my cheeks as I can't even think straight. I hear Peeta come scooting inside and gingerly shutting the door. I don't even turn his way. The couch bounces when Peeta sits at the foot of it. I still stare.
"Katniss......what happened?" He asks concerned. I slowly bring my eyes looking at his paranoid eyes. That is what I love about Peeta. I can always count on him to be there for me. I don't speak for a moment but when I do it sounds so scratchy.
"Gale just told me to make a choice," I respond.
"What?" Peeta questions confused.
"He told me to choose.....between you or him."
"What did you say?"
"I said nothing."
"Do you still love him?"
"Of course......I still love Gale, but I love him in a different way. I love you because you have loved me no matter what, but I love Gale because we have been best friends ever since I was twelve."
"Are you saying that you married me because you just wanted to get over him?"
"No Peeta......I'm just torn between you and him."
"Well......you make your decision. Just remember you still have Jenny." Peeta slowly rises from couch and walks out the door to join Jenny again.
I forgot about Jenny. Peeta is my husband.....why should I even be questioning this? If Gale really loved me he would have never left me behind. But Gale is my best friend and I have never gotten over his beautiful gray eyes, his scruffy brown hair, and of course his strength and love for family. I am so torn. But I can't leave Jenny behind. She won't understand why I left her and Peeta. I don't even know why I so emotional about this? I must have been balling because my coat is damp with tears. I can't shake this stuck feeling. I....love.....them....both.
I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach. It feels like someone just impaled with a knife. I shoot up off the couch and sprint to the bathroom in me and Peeta's room. As I lay in the chilled tile floor I hear Peeta and Jenny giggling as they come into the cabin.
"Katniss!?" Peeta hollers. "Katniss?!" Peeta repeats. I struggle to answer. I can't fight the words out. His rushing footsteps get louder and louder increasing with intensity that I can feel the ground rumble underneath me. He turns the corner to find me in the bathroom. He rushes to my side with panicked almost rabid eyes.
"Katniss......whats the matter?"
"My stomach hurts," I weakly respond. I sit up and find my breakfast has made a reappearance.
"I'm just overwhelmed with this whole situation," I say.
"Have you made your decision?" Peeta asks hopefully. I don't know how to answer him. I haven't made my choice yet.
"I still can't decide," I say.
"Katniss.....you are married to me. You married me because you didn't love Gale anymore," Peeta explains.
"But I still love Gale......in a different way. And I love you a different way. Gale has been my best friend since I was twelve. You have to understand that I love you both."
"What I don't understand is that we have this beautiful baby girl that you are so willing to let go of," Peeta says raising his voice.
"Peeta.....I am more likely to stay with you because of Jenny. She is what I love for. You are what I love for. I love you Peeta," I confess.
"I love you too," Peeta replies.
"I choose you Peeta because you're the only one who has never left me." I sigh of pure relief, but I still feel lousy. Peeta gives me a small peck on my lips and hoists me up off the ground. I am so nauseous and tired and I want to cry. Silent tears dribble down my face.
"Katniss.....why are you still crying?" Peeta asks.
"I don't know. I can't stop crying," I say confused.
"Here lay down," Peeta says and leads me towards the bed. I sink down under the covers and curl up and fall asleep. But I don't want Peeta to leave me. He starts to leave.
"Peeta.....will you stay with me?"
"Always." He responds. He walks to the bed and nestles in next to me. His body is so warm and welcoming. I rest my head on his chest and I can hear his heartbeat. I close my eyes and fall fast asleep.