Katniss and Peeta's Life Continued

Chapter 14

When I wake, I am overwhelmed by beeping and my mind is fogged from today's events. I see Peeta rush to my side and starts petting my hair.
"How are you feeling?" He asks. I half shrug, half nod as an answer knowing in my head, I don't know exactly how I feel at the moment.
"Where is the baby? Is he alright?" I ask remembering that my baby is in critical condition.
"I don't know....he is still in surgery."
"Haven't they been updating you about him?"
"No...not yet."
"How's Jenny?"
"She's good. She has a few friends in daycare already," Peeta laughs. I smile trying to act strong.
"Where is Finnick and Annie?" I ask.
"They went home real quick to pick up Bailey, who they forgot about when we left."
"Oh ok." My last words slip out as I drift off into a deep sleep.
I am awoken by the jostling of Peeta who has a ecstatic look on his face.
"Katniss! Katniss!" He shrieks. "The baby is ok! He is going to live! The surgery was successful!"
"Oh my goodness! Thank God!" I say with relief. After a couple hours, I am wheeled into the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) where The baby is hooked up to what seems like thousands of wires and plugs.
"We are helping him breath right now because his lung is not strong enough," explains a nurse. We roll closer to the little contraption he is in and tears form in my eyes. There is a little opening that I stick my hand in. I carefully brush the little blonde curls that are barely noticeable on his head.
"Can I hold him?" I ask.
"Yes, but just for a moment," Nurse Carrie says. She opens the plastic "cage" around him and places him in my arms. I stare down at my baby boy forgetting the world even exists. I see a perfectly healthy boy that's skin is pure and soft. His full lips and long lashes. A full round belly and strong fingers that grab onto my pinky.

But as I enter the world again I see the real truth. A long tube feeding into his nostril. His face pale and looks sucked from life. His eyebrows furrowed and his breaths are short. A long bandaged scar is sliced across the left side of his stomach. A punctured hole under his armpit is taped up, but is probably needing another patch. And a small cross-like stitch is flat on his chest.

I support his head and I whisper out,"Ethan."
"What?" Peeta asks.
"That's his name," I pause a moment. "Ethan. It means strong."
"I love it," Peeta agrees. The nurse picks Ethan up out of my arms and carries him back into his bed. I am wheeled out of the NICU and taken back to my room. I lay there thinking about baby Ethan and how he will survive this. But, like his name, he is "strong."
Finnick and Annie come back about an hour later and we go down to the cafeteria for lunch. Bailey sits in his high chair playing with his macaroni and cheese and we all sit in silence. Finnick and Peeta make a few attempts to make things not as awkward, but the conversations don't last very long. I sit full of emotions not even bothering to pick up my fork to eat my soggy salad. I don't want to even think about eating and my scar from my cesarian is throbbing with pain. I am alerted by a rushing if doctors scrambling back to work. I find Nurse Carrie in the mix of people and she flies out towards the direction of the NICU. My first initial thought.....Ethan. Fear washes over me like a ocean wave. Not that I have ever been to the beach, but I have heard about it. I stand up and speed walk to the NICU which sends stabbing pains through my lower stomach with every step. I pick up my pace when I see shouting and doctors sprinting for more supplies.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Mellark, but you can't enter at this time," a nurse, with curly red hair and brown eyes, tells me as she forces me back towards the cafeteria.
"No, what is wrong with my baby?" I protest.
"Ethan's lungs are collapsing we need to take him to surgery," she explains.
"Why surgery? Can't you help him breath on a ventilator?"
"I'm sorry, but he is refusing the ventilator. So we need to give him a lung transplant."
"A lung transplant?" I whisper not really talking to anyone. "This is too much for him in one day. Can he survive this?"
"I'm not sure. It's not about a matter of surviving, it's about if we have lungs even for him."
"So your saying he could die?" I ask.
"I'm so sorry, but the chances of that are about at 80% chance. So I would prepare yourself for him not to make it through the surgery," the nurse explains. Peeta comes peeking through the cafeteria door and meets me and the nurse, whose tag says Rose.
"Is everything ok?" Peeta asks. I turn towards him, my teary eyes meeting his.
"Ethan's lungs are collapsing and they have to take him to surgery and he has to get a transplant and he may die," I wail, letting all my emotions out.
"Shhhhh," Peeta hushes stroking my head as it is rested up against his chest. I can just tell by his breaths that he is trying to be strong for me. we make our way out of the humid hallway and back to the cafeteria where we find Finnick and Annie worriedly looking at me crying and Peeta holding me in his arms.
"Is he gone?" Annie asks immediately when we sit down.
"No...its just he is being taken to surgery to get a lung transplant," Peeta explains for me.
"Oh my god," Finnick whispers. Meanwhile, Bailey has drifted off the sleep with his blonde hair smashed in the left over macaroni and cheese.
"I am going to go back to my room now," I announce. I slowly stand up and shuffle back to my hospital room. My thoughts are clouded again as I cry myself to sleep.