Inmate

𝚜𝚒𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗

Like always, Father and I headed to work.

The photo of Katsuki and I was hidden inside my bag, just waiting to be given to my lover.

My headphones were plugged into my phone. I usually listen to more mellow music. It's calming. Sometimes it makes me sad, but it's okay. It's a new kind of sad from the one I experience everyday.

I closed my eyes, my mind being engulfed in the music. Subconsciously, I began singing along quietly.

"how can you say these types of lies...hold onto me-"

I was cut off by a hard smack to the back of my head. I winced in pain, applying pressure to the spot that had been hit.

"Get your head out of the gutter. We're here."

I sighed, turning off my music and taking off my headphones. 

Father and I parted ways.  I went up to Katsuki's cell.

Huh. No guard today?

I stepped over the red line, sliding my hands through the cell bars.

"Suki~" Once he heard me, he jolted up from his shitty bed, stumbling over to me.

His big and strong hands held my petite and frail ones.

"Peppermint.." He smiled, his voice sounding a little groggy.

"I brought you the photo.." I pulled one of my hands away, digging into my bag and grabbing the photo of us.

I slipped it through the bars for him to take it.  He hesitantly held onto it, his eyes fixed on our faces.

"..." He didn't speak, just stared at the photo.

I grabbed the key that was clipped onto my jeans, unlocking his cell.  He ran out, pulling me into a tight hug.

I gasped, a little frightened

"I.. I don't want to die!!" His voice was broken, tears slipped off of his chin and down the back of my shirt. 

I stumbled back, grabbing onto him.  I clutched his shirt, refraining myself from letting the water stream down my cheeks.  His words hit me like a truck.

"You.. You still have some time left.. Hey uh.. is there something you want to do? Before you go..?" Still holding onto him, I walked us into the room, locking the door.

His arms were locked tightly around me.

"I want to go outside... with you. I want to see the sunset one last time.. As long as I'm with you, everything will be fine.."

My lips pursed and my eyes closed.  I struggled, trying my best to hold back my sobs.

"I-I'll see what I can do, Suki.." I was shaking. Each day, it sunk in more and more than he's going to die. That I'll never be able to see him again.  That he'll be gone forever.

My chest feels heavy.  My stomach is sinking, eating itself. My legs weakened, wobbled, shook. I couldn't keep my balance, lowering myself onto the floor and bringing Katsuki with me.

We sat there, embracing each other as we let the tears take control.  This is hurting both of us.

Why did I let myself fall for him? I told myself constantly that it would hurt, but I guess that's just how we work.  We don't follow rules.  We long for things we cannot have.  We tell ourselves we can't have something, but want it even more because we can't have it.

My hand slithered up to his hair, petting it, caressing him.  I wanted to feel him as much as I could before I lost his touch for good.

He was warm.  His skin was soft.  His hair felt like silk, my hand running through tufts of it with ease.

His hands. They were calloused, rough. Yet holding them felt so soft and comforting.  The feeling of his hands running over me was something I've been longing for all my life, this secure feeling. 

It's a little ironic, saying that I feel safe in the arms of a murderer.   But it's the truth.  I'd rather be here than at home with Father.

Katsuki has never hurt me.  The only time was because I told him to, and he had trouble even doing it.  Father doesn't need to be asked twice if someone told him to hurt me.

His hands trailed their way up to my cheeks.  Soon, his lips met mine.  My heart thumped loudly in my chest, yet this heavy feeling lingered. No matter how much I tried, the negative thoughts just wouldn't go away.

I'm never going to feel his lips against mine again.  I won't get to feel safe anymore.  I won't get to be held like this by the only one I love.  I'm losing my other half, the piece that makes me complete.

Why do I have to lose him?

Please.. tell me why...