Inmate

𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗

"Peppermint.."

I shot up in my bed, breathing heavily as I looked around. 

"Katsuki.." My lip quivered as tears began to build up, my pale hands gripping the sheets. 

I wiped my eyes before the tears managed to escape.

It's been over a year and I still can't move on.   Being weak like this isn't going to help me or my-.. our daughter.

I swiftly got out of bed, dressing myself in a black turtleneck and jeans, tying up my now past shoulder length hair into a messy up-do. 

Our baby, our beautiful daughter, was born on the same day as Katsuki.

I turned away from my dresser, looking down at the crib she was in.  I leaned against it, watching her sleep peacefully.

Oh to be a newborn again.  Sleep is the one thing I don't get much of. 

I reached down and fiddled with her small fingers.  She's always grabbing up at something with them, smiling and laughing.  I often wonder what she's looking at, since there's nothing dangling above her crib. 

Birthing her was painful, yet worth every second of it.

The feeling of loneliness, being surrounded by nurses, doctors, people that I didn't know.   I was all alone through it all.  I tried so hard to imagine Katsuki was standing with me, meeting his little girl for the first time.  It just wouldn't happen.

Before the tears could get to me, I walked away from the crib, going to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.   I stared blankly into the void in the cup, stirring the small amount of sugar I had poured into it. 

I sat in the living room along with my coffee, admiring the photo I had of Katsuki and I.  I'd gotten it printed onto a large canvas, hanging it up right above the fireplace.

The look on Father's face when he had found out about my pregnancy.  I'll never forget it.

-abuse tw-

I'd just left the hospital, still in quite a shock.  I had nowhere to go except for hell, so hell is where I went.  Waiting there for me was the devil himself: My Father.

He stood arms crossed at the front door.

"Sho-"

"Shut up." I blurted. I don't want to hear another second of his nagging.

He raised his arm to hit me,  bringing it down at full force and slapping me right in my face.

I bit my lip, struggling a little too much to keep my balance.

"Where do I even fucking begin with you?" He spoke through gritted teeth, grabbing my shirt and lifting me up.

"S-Stop!" I grabbed his arm. "You can hurt me as much as you want, I don't fucking care, but if anything happens to my baby—"

"Baby?" He looked down at me, his grip loosening. 

Fuck. I didn't mean for it to come out so soon. 

Warm and salty tears slid down my cheeks.

"You heard me."

He dropped me, eyes wide as he stumbled backwards.  He sat in a chair, almost ripping off the armrests.

"You whore.." he stared at me with the most disgusting face. I'd never seen it before. 

"You murderer." My eye twitched as I stared at the ugly sight in front of me. 

He got up and slapped me again.

Father was never good with words.  I can almost hear his thoughts screaming at me that Katsuki was an actual murderer that deserved his death.

Father always resorted to violence.

"Get the fuck out of my house.." He grabbed my hair, dragging me up the stairs and throwing me into my room.

"Get your shit and leave, you filthy slut."  He kicked me.

-

I rested my head in my hand, my breath hitching as I remembered what had happened.  I haven't seen or spoken to him since.

Though I was never close with my siblings, who had left Father's wrath as soon as possible, they had helped me get the house I have now.

They weren't too pleased to hear from me.  Despite that fact, they helped me a quite a bit.

They disappeared after helping with the house.  It was obvious they wanted nothing to do with me after they helped.

I was tapping my foot rapidly against the floor, getting more anxious with every passing second.

I set my coffee on the table, grabbing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and sitting on the front porch.

My new fix.

I immediately calmed down after inhaling the cancerous smoke.  I know it's not healthy for me or my daughter, but what choice do I have?

I exhaled, watching the smoke leave through my nose.   I put out the cigarette with the cement, then tossed it into the grass.

The sound of a child crying filled my ears.  I stumbled up and ran inside, picking up my angel from her crib.

"Shh.." I hushed her and held her close, swaying slowly from side to side.

Her head rested against my shoulder, her cries immediately coming to a stop.

I felt a pair of arms around my waist, and a head on my other shoulder. 

I gasped, quickly looking up at the mirror in front of me.

"S-Suki.." I saw him in the reflection, hugging me from behind.

I turned around, only to face an empty room.

He wasn't there.