Dip$h!+s in space: Season 2

Episode 19 "A bastard, a Menace, and a fish tank"

"What the duck shit is that thing?" asked Marley, staring at a very vividly white ship with a strange logo on the side.

"It's a Gigolo bus!" beamed Lawg.

"Like a man-whore transportation device?" he asked.

"No, that's something totally different. A Gigolo is a groupie that follows this ancient Earth band, Clown Posey."

"That can't be accurate, Lawg. I'm no historian, but that has to be one of your mistakes. You'd have to be touched in the head to name your band after both clowns and flowers. And the logo is so badly worn it could say practically anything. All I can make out is FAMILY VAN. Lamest name ever. Regardless of the history, why are we looking at a tour bus?"

"Because it's a piece of history." Lawg smiled.

"Oh it's a piece of something, I'll give you that. You didn't pay money for this did you?" asked Marley.

"Practically nothing, the scrap yard almost gave it away...now the labor cost on the other hand, was a little high." he said hesitantly.

"Labor...good grief you are not fixing it up to fly. Please tell me you didn't sell the Taste-E-Chill to fix up this tour bus." Marley said looking alarmed.

"Of course not. Sell the Taste-E? That's Hennessey!" he scoffed.

"No that would be Heresy, and where did you get the money, and where is the Taste-E?" Marley asked.

"So remember the bobble heads? They sold for 9,600 Credz."

"Holy crap, Lawg. So we have 2 ships now? I mean that's a great sale, especially for someone like you...so special. But we can't crew 2 ships."

"And that's the best part. We don't have to. Introducing...The Sneaky Bastard" he said whipping around and holding out his arms to reveal the same ship that Marley was already looking at.

"You already showed me the bus, dipshit...what's the surprise?"

"Oh right, follow me." he corrected, leading him to the rear entrance. They stepped inside and Marley rubbed his eyes in disbelief.

"You moved all the crap from the Taste-E into the...we seriously calling it the Sneaky Bastard?" he asked. "Family Van" was almost better."

"Yes we are...and no I didn't, and no it's not! The bus was basically garbage."

"Hence the whole 'you bought it' part." Marley sighed.

"Exactly. I couldn't part with the Taste-E, but it was on its last leg. Needed new plating, structural supports were termite infested."

"You gotta use Vacuum rated lumber, dude. I know it's 3 bucks more a board but you save money in time when you don't have to repair it as often... or die." Marley noted, looking around at the familiarity.

"I know, I know. Irregardlessly, the ship was unsound and about to burst open at the slightest thump, but the internal systems worked and it felt like home." Lawg said.

"I see where this is going. You just gutted the tour bus and parked the Taste-E inside. Used the hull and the boosters and pretty much used the bus as a body kit. My question is why...why a bus? Why not spend that money and the labor cost jamming it in there when you could have just had the Taste-E rebuilt?" he asked Lawg.

"Glad you asked. Not only is this a priceless piece of-"

"Garbage." Marley finished.