Abide » Alden

10. Trauma

His hands glide up into my hair, I hum as his fingers leave my scalp tingling. His hands travel back down to rub my thighs. We kiss deeply, our tongues dancing. I grip his hair and I hear a soft moan come from his chapped lips.

He returns the favor by breaking the kiss and moving his attention to my neck. I lean my head to the side to provide him more access.

He licks and sucks so much that I suspect hickeys tomorrow morning. He kisses his way back up to my lips and moves his hands.

He moves his hands to caress my stomach before gripping the hem of my shirt.

I feel it begin to slide up, revealing my scarred body.

Once the shirt reaches my rib cage, I push back out of the kiss. Alden instantly lets go of the shirt.

He stares at me with confusion and I stare back startled.

"I can't— sorry— too fast—" I stutter shamefully.

He shakes his head and gently rubs my arms, "It's okay. You don't need to be sorry."

I swing my left leg around so I'm now sitting on the couch beside Alden.

I ruined a good thing because I can't seem to move on. It happened during or before the war. I don't remember and I prefer it that way.

I slouch so Alden doesn't see my face through the curtain my short hair makes. My eyes start to burn and I hold my breath.

I feel something touch my shoulder and I flinch, hard. I need to get out of here before I break down.

»3rd POV

Paesyn stands and hops to the adjacent wall to grab her crutch. She uses the railing to help her up the stairs. Once she reaches the top, she finds the closest bedroom and locks herself in it.

Alden sits bewildered and concerned downstairs. Did he do something wrong? He didn't mean to make her upset.

Alden slowly follows Paesyn's steps up the stairs. He reaches the bedroom she hides in.

Paesyn sits on the edge of the bed, hot tears streaming down her face. She holds herself and rocks, hoping for a single ounce of comfort.

These anxiety attacks were thought to be over with. Paesyn's had such a distraction to keep her away from the bad memories.

It was inevitable, though, for her to reach the physical threshold of her relationship with Alden.

When he touched her, it felt like fire. A good fire. She felt like electricity flowed through her veins. She really did love what they were doing downstairs.

But a looming shadow of trauma blocked out the light when Alden grabbed her shirt.

It reminded her of exactly what the savior did that night.

He pulled up her shirt to expose her lightly scarred abdomen. He gripped her waist hard, leaving indents of his thumbs on each side of her belly button. He did it to go in deeper. He never needed to do it. He just wanted to heighten the pain.

A sob falls from Paesyn's frowning lips. Her breathing becomes deep and ragged between the silenced cries.

His face won't go away. She's stuck there, in that cell. She can still hear her screams echoing in the small room. She can see the blood staining her inner thighs.