Wonkru ☣ Bellamy Blake [3]

Understanding

"How? How is this possible?" Nia stumbled out as she tried to make sense of how she was seeing Lexa. "This shouldn't be happening."

"You shouldn't sound so surprised, Nia. After all, you are the commander. You have seen what I have gone through when I had the Flame in my head even after so long." Lexa explained as she stood in front of Nia.

"The Flame." Nia spoke in realization as she recalled the amount of times Lexa meditated and how the memories of the commanders seemed to haunt Lexa. That had to be it, right? "It's not the toxin then."

"It is." Lexa confirmed for her. "The toxin just triggered the memories quicker."

The statement wavered Nia's thinking. The Flame would trigger the memories of the commanders. And one of those commanders happen her sister.

When they had found out about Praimfaya, she had been in a rocky place. First, she had lost all of family before she could even process Alec's death. Then she found out about the end of the world and focused on saving what family she had left. But when it came time to stay she had gone into space. And despite the six years in space, she couldn't bring herself to deal with losing all her family. So, she had buried the feelings deep within her and hoped it would never resurface. Except now that she was commander, she would have to deal with seeing Lexa. But she didn't know if was ready for it?

"I missed you, Zhalia. And I'm sorry for everything that has happened." Lexa comforted as she saw the panicked look on her face. Carefully, she brushed Nia's hair away from her face as she looked at her.

"Sorry? You're sorry?" Nia choked out as she felt a lump forming inside her throat. "For what, for dying? For leaving me alone in this world where everything in it is trying to turn me into a killer?"

All of Nia's fears seemed to surface as she thought of everything that had happened. No one knew Nia like the way Alec, Lincoln and Lexa knew her. Every single one of them had been able to pull her from the darkest part of her mind and kept her from turning into someone other than herself.

"I know you're scared, Zhalia. But I always believed in you." Lexa stated. "I believed that you were always meant to lead. Whether it was Trikru or all the clans. You being a Commander only proves how much of a leader you can become."

"But what if I can't do this?" Nia dreaded the answer she might receive.

"You can. I know you can." Lexa addressed her fear but before they could continue to talk, the apparition of Lexa disappeared as quickly as she appeared.

"Lexa. Lexa!" Nia called out hoping she would appear again.

She knew that with the Flame in her head, she could see the commanders and they would help guide her on her decision making. But she hadn't had the time to be able to sit with Gaia and learn how to control the Flame. She feared of what the Flame might show her as part of her training.