Habits Of My Heart

Part 1

The Night We Met

Have you ever felt like you're sailing through life? Not like its going great, but rather it's just going. It feels like there isn't anything to look forward to because everything bad always makes anything good look trivial, when good things make their infrequent presence that is. Then, eventually, inevitably, it gets to the point where nothing good or bad happens, everything just happens.

Yeah, that seems about right.

"I'm sorry, you can't stay at mine tonight."

I sigh and bite my lip as my friend ditches me for some fuckboy she's just met.

"What the fuck do I do?"

"I don't know, maybe stay here?"

I glare at her before standing up and leaving the room, a freshly lit spliff in my mouth.

The bathroom door at the end of the corridor is open. I stumble down the hall, barely making it before falling over. Luckily I manage to grab ahold of the sink to prevent causing any damage to either myself, the bathroom or the joint.

I light it again and take a long puff, leaning back and easing into my high. I'm still aware of the two molly in my pocket, I'm considering whether or not to take them yet.

Although I'm absolutely off my face I'm still worried about where I'm gonna stay tonight, I'd rather stay out all night than go anywhere else or god forbid stay here.

My eyes start to droop and my mouth goes dry as I continue to smoke. It starts to get puffy in the bathroom so I open the window. After a while I've finished the joint and my god are my eyes red. I bend over and splash some water in my face, the refreshing wind blowing through onto my cool face feels so nice.

I make my way back downstairs and plant myself in a chair in the corner of the living room.

I check my watch to show 11pm. I'm still figuring out where I want to stay tonight. Granted I am tripping some serious balls right now so home is definitely a no go, and that's among other reasons aswell. However, I have no intention of spending the night in a frat house packed full of horny, intoxicated teens.

'How did I get here?' I ask myself. It seems to be such a common question that I  wonder. I haven't been sober for  weeks, whether it's pills, weed, alcohol or a mixture of them all. As soon as my sobering reality begins to appear I push it back with whatever is available.

I take a swig of the closest bottle nearest to me and bring it with me as I pace down the hall. The blaring music is pounding in my head and the air laced thick with smoke intrudes my throat and nostrils. I lean to the wall for support as I continue my journey down the hallway and into the kitchen.

In a quick motion followed by a familiar burning sensation I finish the bitter drink in my hand, quickly replaced by the half empty bottle of vodka sitting on the kitchen counter. Dizzy, I manage to stumble into the garden, just managing to not drop into the pool.

My eyes roll slightly back as my head starts to spin. I walk further past the pool and behind the trees, some huge ass fucking trees, too huge for a garden.

"Who the fuck owns this house?"

I walk until I eventually smell the well-known scent of wet grass and clear air. Before I know it I'm lying down on the cool, slightly moist ground staring at the stars.

I prop myself up on my elbows and open my mouth to let more chemicals enter my body, my eyes still fixated on the many bright beams of light in the sky.

My vision begins to still for a moment and the music begins to fade. My awareness comes to a point where all I can feel and hear is the slight vibrations of the bass from the music through the ground and my own hitched breath. My eyes start to gently close until my moment is broken by an unknown stranger.

"They sure are quite breathtaking, aren't they?"

I turn to see a tall, typical looking high school student squatting beside me. I stare at the man as I nod my head slightly.

"They are."

I narrow my eyes as he lies down beside me, copying my propped up position as he stares into the sky.

His mouth forms a small smile as his lips slightly part. His hair is slightly ruffled and falls down onto his somewhat shiny forehead. His cheeks are fleshy yet still defined. His jawline is sharp and contrasts to his full, plushy lips. His eyes are glistened over as the stars are reflected into the deep hazel orbs. I snap back into reality as he turns his head towards me,

"Do you always stare at people, or am I just that good-looking?" The stranger smirks and wiggles his eyebrows.

I chuckle and raise my eyebrow. "Cocky much?"

"You didn't answer my question." He turns back to face toward me.

My head seems to turn to face his as I steal a quick glance at his lips.

"I just met you, I'm trying to refrain from hurting your feelings instantly so I'm sure you don't want me to answer that."

He smiles and laughs without breaking his eye contact with me.

"What's your name?"

I sigh quietly and fidget before replying.

"Emily."

"Emily..." he questions, raising one eyebrow.

"Emily Clarke. And you are..?"

"Alex Slate."

I keep my eyes locked onto his as he reaches over me. My breath stills as he takes the bottle and brings it to his lips.

He grimaces and I giggle, he turns back towards me as he returns the bottle.

We lock eyes for a moment as everything seems to still again. It seems like hours have passed as we continue to piss about and sarcastically banter with eachother.

Usually I'd probably tell him to piss off but I'm bored and he doesn't seem too bad. At this point he seems to be the highlight of this entire party.

Who is this guy?