Habits Of My Heart

Part 12

Easier

Alex and I are both sitting up next to eachother, after each second passes I miss being in his embrace.

He runs his hands over his face and draws in a large breath.

"I'm so sorry about that." he groans. His morning voice is deep and husky. I would say its hot but Alex does look quite adorable with his hair messy and his eyes droopy.

"It's okay." is all I manage to say, my voice slightly shakey.

I'm not sure why but everything ha sgone weird, like incredibly weird. For the first time being this close to Alex actually makes me feel uneasy.

After sitting in silence for a minute too long, I scramble out of the duvet and pad my way over to the bathroom, not looking back. I run the tap and splash my face with water, I surprisingly don't look as bad as I expected but it could be better.

My jeans and shirt are neatly folded on the counter after I left them there last night. Luckily my jeans didn't get dirty but I can't say the same for my shirt. It's covered in food stains and alcohol spills and I think some blood.

Jesus so much shit happened yesterday, too much shit. I fish out my mascara, eyebrow pencil and concealer out of my jacket pocket and try and make myself look as presentable as possible. After my makeup I pull my hair out of my face and into a high ponytail.

I tug my jeans over my legs and tuck in Alex's shirt.

"Hey Alex, is it okay if I wear your shirt today? Mines covered in squirty cream and blood."

I hear a quiet laugh before he answers with a simple "Yeah."

I look at myself in the mirror and I'm moderately pleased with the outcome. I don't look dead so that's a good sign. As I go to push my makeup back in my pocket I hear something rattle. I pull out my small 'lip balm' pot and remember I've still got a few amphetamines left.

Drugs hadn't even crossed my mind until now. I take one out and swallow it. I stand back and look at myself in the mirror for a final time. Ready.

I open the door and Alex is sitting on the edge of his bed still in his sweatpants and shirt from last night.

His head pops up as he stares at me.

"You look beautiful." he smiles and looks away.

"Thanks Alex."

"I was gonna ask if you wanted to get breakfast but it's almost midday so..."

"Lunch?" I ask as politely as possible.

He smiles, this time it seems more meaningful.

"Sure, I'm just gonna shower first if that's okay?"

"No Alex. You absolutely cannot shower." I say in such a serious voice that for a moment he believes it. He smiles at me and I giggle. He grabs a towel and dissapears into the bathroom.

I pull my phone out of my jacket pocket and sit at Alex's desk, my knees up to my chest and my feet perched on the edge of the chair.

I scroll through Instagram for about 15 minutes until the bathroom door opens again.

I turn to see Alex enter the room is just a white towel hung lowly around his hips, so low that his v-line is slightly visible.

I can't help but ogle at him as he walks into the room. I'm snapped back into reality as Alex laughs.

"So you do like to stare huh."

I widen my eyes and look away as I feel my cheeks burning up again.

"Don't worry, I take it as a compliment."

I laugh and spin on the desk chair.

"Of course you do."

Alex peers at me as he sprays on some deodarent.

"What's that supposed to mean? Of course you do." he says in a mocking tone.

"You're so cocky."

"Oh I know. Are you still not gonna tell me why you're staring because you're 'trying to refrain from hurting my feelings' or is it because you don't have the balls to admit you think I'm hot?" he raises his eyebrows and cockily smiles at me.

Game on Alex.

"Actually Alex. I do have the balls to say you look hot because fuck... You with wet hair and only a towel... Well I think it speaks for itself."

I slowly eye up Alex's body as I bite my lip. Just as I planned, Alex's cheeks go bright red and he's absolutely speechless. He swiftly turns and grabs some clothes from his drawers before retreating back into the bathroom without a word. Men, so predictable. I laugh, making sure its loud enough for him to hear through the door.

He emerges out of the bathroom a few minutes later, this time he's dressed but his hair is still wet. I wasn't lying earlier, Alex with wet hair just hits different. Different in a good way.

"Not so cocky now huh."

He walks closer towards me until his barely a few inches away. He narrows his eyes at me and draws in a long breath.

"I wasn't kidding earlier, you really do look beautiful."

"So charming." I say as I playfully roll my eyes and turn away. This is a risky game, as much as I love flirting with Alex, I have literally known him for a day so I need to control myself.

"You know I was awake earlier."

"What?"

"When you woke up. You were tracing my skin."

He flashes me a small smile which I belive he did to try and ease my obvious embarrassment.

"It felt nice."

We stand there for a moment, neither of us saying a word.

"Shall we go get some breakfa- lunch then?"  I ask and take my hands out of my pockets.

"You know you can just call it brunch right?"

"You know that..." Alex raises his eyebrow at my silence.

"Okay just shut up."

I jokingly huff and roll my eyes at Alex as he chuckles. I open the door and walk out as he follows behind me.