the outsider

'𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒'

𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑒 : ℎ𝑎𝑦𝑑𝑒𝑛
after ten minutes of waiting, who i had presumed to be 'gracie' still hadn't showed up. i wondered if she'd forgotten about me. i secretly hoped she hadn't, not when i had been thinking about her for the past four hours.
students continue to pass, all glancing my way while passing. they might as well stick a label on my forehead with 'new kid' on it at this point.
i look like an idiot, stranded outside my algebra class. i wish she would hurry up.
maybe i should just try and get to the cafeteria by myself. it seemed like the most reasonable option.
i take a step down the corridor to the left before I'm stopped.
"wrong way, taylor" she called.
"sorry i-i didn't think you were coming" i spluttered, somewhat nervously.
i don't know why but she made me nervous. i had no clue how to act around her.
"whatever, get a move on" she said, rolling her dark, pretty eyes impatiently. she didn't stop and wait for me, instead she continued walking, leaving me running after her like a lost puppy.
"gracie!" i call after her as she turns a corner too swiftly for me to keep up in the growing crowd of people, all desperate to get to seemingly the same place.
and then there's that feeling. the one where you feel like a fish out of water. i feel the weight of a potential panic attack close in on me as my heart dumps in my ear.
so many people. too many people. i look for a way out, only to see people. and more people and more and more. there's no way out. i'm trapped.
𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚. 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙙𝙚𝙣.
i try telling myself but it's no use. i try opening my mouth, only it's gone dry and i'm frozen. the weight on my chest intensifies.
𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚. 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡.
they weren't watching me before but they're starting to now. quit watching me.
tears are rapidly welling my eyes, threatening to burst out as my fists clenched, instantly beginning to shake.
𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚.
why are they fucking watching me?
i wanted to scream, to say anything, do anything. it was too late. the panic had control of me now.
"god, you're needy" gracie groans, somehow finding her way back to my side, in time.
she seems to realise what's happening and quickly interlocks our fingers, pulling me through the crowd of students.
"hey, taylor. focus on me" she instructs. i nod, teary-eyed and red faced.
"you're okay"
i take deep breaths. in and out.
"listen to me. you're okay. this is a safe place" she soothes, not letting go.
i manage to calm down within the next few minutes, feeling the stares again. gracie drops my hand like it's a bomb.
"nothing to see here" she growls, causing people to scurrying away. she really had people intimidated.
"come on taylor, i wanna eat my lunch" she complained, already a few steps ahead of me again. this time she pauses though, waiting for me to catch up before continuing.
"you're not so mean you know" i mumble. she glares. if looks could kill, i'd be dead.
"you tell anybody that and I'll hurt you"
i laugh, expecting it to have been a joke, only it wasn't. i received a stone cold glare in return, shutting me up.
god she really was mean. but in a good way. we reach the cafeteria quickly and gracie points me in the direction of the table caleb usually sits at.
"thank you" i tell her, only to find her back was already turned.
"don't expect it to happen again" she calls back, heading to the back of the cafeteria, presumably to her table.
thankfully, the boys at the table had been expecting me and all gave me a warm welcome. it was like that with boys, if you played the same sport, it was instant friendship.
a blonde boy called johnny i believe, shuffled his stuff over, making room for me beside him.
"thanks man" i smiled.
"no problem. did i see you come in with little leblanc or was i seeing shit?" johnny laughs, a few other guys laughed along too.
little leblanc, referring to her height. in fairness, she was short compared to all of the guys sat around the table, who were all at least six foot and gracie was only probably five foot five.
"no, i did come in with her" i shrug, sticking a fork into the plain looking lunch in front of me.
"she's probably preying on you, like a little lamb" one of the other guys added, still chuckling.
they weren't wrong about gracie, though. she was by far the most intimidating person i had ever met and it seemed she had everyone in school feeling the same way.
johnny's face falls and his voice drops, sounding a little more serious.
"look, she might be hot but i'd stay away" he says in an undertone.
"why?"
he pauses, unsure wether to continue.
"as caleb's best friend, i can't tell you. he loves her, as family does, but trust me, it's better you keep your distance" johnny instructs, rather than advises.
it began clear why gracie had strictly told me to keep what she had done for me earlier quiet. she had a reputation to maintain. a bad one too, but something about that didn't matter to me.
she showed me a different side. only for a brief moment, but maybe, maybe she isn't completely stone cold.