the outsider

'𝑙𝑎𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑛 𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑜'

𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑒 : 𝑠𝑖𝑥
physical pain was sometimes the easier part of my home life. at least when my father decided to be physical, the pain would wear off, sooner or later, but emotional pain? that shit will haunt you till the day you die.
today in particular, it was haunting me and it seemed my siblings had taken notice.
the car was quiet this morning. i was sure hayley and caleb had heard last night's antics. yet they both remained silent, trying their best to look past it and our shit show of a family. they were lucky. lucky that they were the favourites and they both knew it. another reason why we don't mention it.
i cast a glance into the backseat to my sister. you would never guess she has a father like ours by looking at her. she had our mother's looks, that's for sure. her wild, chestnut curls spiralling down past her chest, pairing well with her lusciously long lashes and amber eyes, that flickered off of her phone and onto me.
as much as hayley and i butted heads, i was glad it was her and not me. she had a future, i didn't.
sometimes i wondered if she thought the same, or if she believed i deserved it. i know i do.
"what?" she speaks, for the first time today. i turn back to the front of the car, muttering a nothing in response. somewhat normality.
we soon reach school and we part our ways.
"hey bitch" kenzie greets, throwing one of her french plaits over her shoulder.
"hey whore"
some friends actually referred to each other by their names, but kenzie and i? no way. we liked a bit of tough love. i pop my locker open, pulling all of the books i needed up until break into my bag.
"is that lauren?" i gasp, pretending to be shocked as my eyes land on the huddle of jocks, with lauren throwing herself at whoever in the center.
i sigh, shaking my head.
hardly anyone dated at our school. people only really made out for a while, then moved on. but that didn't stop the girls from throwing themselves at the boys, only to get dropped within a week. pathetic.
"oh god, who's she throwing herself at now?" kenzie groans, casting a glance towards the group.
I shrug, unable to peer through the huddle of bodies.
"let's just hope it isn't your new toy huh?"
i shoot kenzie a glare, slamming my locker shut.
"hayden isn't my new toy" i remind her.
"just because he gave me a ride a week ago, doesn't mean there's anything"
her brows furrow, giving me a i-don't-believe-you look.
"that doesn't stop him staring at you in history" she teases. i roll my eyes, scoffing. she liked the idea of hayden and i more than i did, not that I like the idea at all. hayden was good looking, very good looking, but i couldn't care less. boyfriends were useless.
"no way"
kenzie's hazel eyes widen, her mouth dropping open. i follow her glance, back to the group, my jaw then dropping open too.
"what the fuck?" i hiss, feeling my first curls into balls.
caleb might be eighteen and fully capable of making his own decisions, but lauren orlando was far from the right girl for him.
kenzie and lauren were practically inseparable, up until kenzie came out and all of the drama that followed, all thanks to lauren. she actively helped kenzie's then-boyfriend out her to the whole school and turn all of her friends against her. a bitch, was a nice way to describe her.
"annie" kenzie says in a warning tone. she knows my temper better than i do. however, she's too late. my balled fists are shaking with rage as i begin storming towards them. she attempts to stop me, only for me to brush her off easily.
"annie, this isn't a good-"
i barge my way through the crowd of stupid jocks that i wish my brother would stop hanging out with. i might have one friend, but kenzie's better than all of these assholes combined.
"hey gracie" caleb greets, lauren presses against his chest, like a puppy begging for attention. i resist the urge to gag. she turns to face me. she presses her lips together tightly, crossing her arms across her chest.
"oh hey, annie" she says, playing dumb as she twirls a strand of her straw coloured hair around her finger. are people really this dumb?
i glare. she knows i don't like her. heck, i didn't like half of the people in this school, but she was the worst of a bad bunch.
"have you got a problem, pill popper?"
i grit my teeth. two years and that nickname still sticks.
i can feel caleb's warning stare blazing through the side of my face. i can practically hear him saying '𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦' or '𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴'. i 𝙬𝙖𝙨 better than this but it wasn't hard to be better than a girl like her.
"get your slimy hands off of my brother and then i won't"
the observing jocks, being jocks, all added 𝙤𝙤𝙤𝙝𝙨 and 𝙙𝙖𝙢𝙣𝙣𝙣𝙨.
"who are you calling slimy, whore?" she snarks back, taking a step forward. i ball my fist even tighter, feeling my nails digging dangerously deep into my palms. god, how i wanted to slap her, for everything she put kenzie through.
"i'm not the one drooling over a boy who won't even remember i'm breathing in a week" i point out. i consider walking away then and there, feeling caleb's intensifying glare. he knew i couldn't afford any other things like this on my permanent record. and i listen. until i hear her mumble, "i'm least i'm not a pill popper"
that's it. my rage boils over, causing me to spin back around on my heels and sending my palm striking across her cheek once before caleb finds himself wedged in between us.
"let me at her!" she screeches from the other side, caleb refusing to move, knowing i'd rip her to shreds in a matter of seconds.
"let her!" i hiss back for caleb to push me back a few paces with a harsh stare to pair. my brows scrunch together, was he defending her?
"caleb, let me at her" i repeat, striding back towards him. he repeats the motion, without a word, pushing me back a few paces again.
"look annie, this isn't what either of you need. back down" he warns. is he serious?
"back down" he repeats through gritted teeth. and i do. not because i don't want to send lauren flying against a locker, but because my own brother just drove a knife into my back. i storm down the corridor, kenzie tracing behind me as i run back outside to the car park.
"is he serious?" I screech, pacing back and forth. the fresh spring breeze brushing against my skin. i needed to calm down but i couldn't.
"annie, you need to calm down" kenzie tries, nodding towards my balled fists. i open them, a gasp escaping my mouth as red liquid runs down my palms from where my nails had previously been.
the bell rings, signalling it's time for first period. kenzie opens the door, waiting on me.
"i'll help you get cleaned up before class, come on" she says hurriedly.
i shake my head. i needed to get out of here.
"i can't. i have first period with caleb"
"he's your brother, you guys fight. it's what siblings do"
"not us"
epically not after a night like last night. i hear her sigh. she's trying, i'll give her that. i'd find it hard to be my friend too.
"annie, i said i'll help you. i get it'll be awkward but you guys-"
"just go!" i snap, realising i was going to need more than a thirty second breather to recover from this. kenzie nods, knowing not to push my temper any further and heading inside to her first class.
"if only i had a car of my own" i curse underneath my breath, sending a rock scattering across the floor. i open my palms, watching them shake uncontrollably.
i was no better than my father this way.
"you know, i know something to help with those palms" a raspy voice calls, startling me.