the outsider

'𝑡𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑠'

𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑒 : 𝑒𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡
"taylor, how old are these?" i practically cry as he hands me a red skateboard, only just hanging onto it's last coat of paint.
"they were my brother's. he got them three years ago, i think?" he shrugs, pulling out an equally wrecked green one.
i gape at him. skateboards only a few years old, shouldn't be looking like they've passed through a tornado.
"hey, don't blame me! they're my brother's" hayden says defensively, leading me out to his driveway.
i observe the skateboard he handed me. despite more of the paint having fallen off than stayed on, i can make out an icon, possibly a sports of college one faintly. i trace my finger along the faded icon as it dawns on me, this was a columbia icon.
"your brother goes to columbia then?" i ask, unable to stop myself. it was a little odd to have a college painted onto your skateboard and i was curious.
"he used to" he says hesitantly as we reach the edge of the driveway and sets his board down.
although i'm not on good terms with him, caleb comes to mind. college didn't feel like an option to either of us, but still, as i accepted reality, he continued to hope and dream that one day, he'd attend columbia.
"caleb talks about going there a lot, he makes it sound like olympus"
the corners of his mouth pull into a smile and he releases a chuckle.
"it's a ivy league grace, it's about as close to olympus as college can get"
i roll my eyes. caleb was far too much of a dreamer. kids like us don't get to go to college, not when your father spends most of our money on alcohol and the occasional drugs.
"let me guess, you're going there too then?"
he nods, his curls falling forward only for him to instantly sweep them away. it's a shame, they looked kinda nice that way.
hayden continued to talk about how he plans to become a student-athlete for columbia, like his brother had. my nosey nature won't leave me alone, begging me to ask why his brother would drop out from an Ivy League, but my gut's telling me to lay it off.
so i do, and we begin the lessons. we spend the next two hours teaching hayden the basics of skateboarding, leaving him with several bruises and then, listening to music while he practices. i learn bits about him, like he's really into football, like caleb and is looking to win a scholarship but we cut the personal questions off there.
"gracie look!" he squeals excitedly, a wide grin plastered across his face as he lands his first ollie. i laugh while clapping for him. he was like a little kid when it came to this. he then proceeds to attempt another, only to lose control and tumble over onto the pavement. i rush over to him.
sometimes skateboarding could leave you with the odd scratches and bruises, but hayden looked like he'd landed awkwardly on his arm.
"hayden?" i call, reaching him. he remains still, facing flat against the pavement.
"taylor? c'mon, i know you're just playing with me" i say, poking him with my foot. he groans, flipping over onto his back.
"i think i'm a pro" he chuckles and i let myself laugh along side him. i secretly watch his smile grow wider at the sight of mine.
he had one of 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 smiles.
"that hurt like a bitch" he groans. i roll my eyes.
"c'mon, you had it once. you can do it again" I insist, poking him with my foot again.
"quit it!" he whines, hitting my foot away.
"okay, first of all, that was rude and second of all, get up, drama queen"
hayden groans pathetically again and i think i'm going to have to kick him again until he bolts up, his smile having been wiped clean. i follow his glance that had glanced beyond me. my smile gets wiped off too.
caleb pulls into his driveway, slamming his car door shut and marching towards us.
"uh oh" hayden mumbles beside me. uh oh is an understatement. i was in deep shit, we both were.
"what the fuck are you doing?" caleb seethes, his fists balled by his sides. hayden shoots me a 'what do we do' glance and i shrug.
clearly, he wasn't used to having anyone this angry at him.
caleb reaches us, his jaw clenched as he crosses his arms across his chest.
"well, which one's gonna answer me? romeo or juliet?"
before i can respond, hayden jumps in.
"it's not like that between us"
he was right. i don't know wether hayden and i are friends, but we definitely weren't...well that. or at least, i didn't think so.
sure, hayden was attractive, 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 attractive, anyone with eyes could see that, but us becoming anything more than friends, was nothing more than a impossibility. boys like him don't go with girls like me.
"then why did you lie to me?" caleb snaps, uncrossing his arms and returning his fists to his sides in one swift movement. he clenches his fists, shaking.
"what else were you doing? besides making out, huh?" he demands.
"skateboarding" i say, pointing towards the two abandoned boards behind us.
caleb shakes his head.
"you really think i believe that?"
"wether you believe it or not, it's what happened"
hayden looks between us both, unsure of what to do.
"guys, i think we should all just calm down" he decided to say, intervening between caleb and i before things got too heated.
"don't think you're innocent" caleb snarks, now beginning to turn on hayden.
i swalllw the link that had formed in my throat. i hadn't seen him this mad in a while.
"I thought we were actually beginning to be friends but no! you just wanted to kiss my sister like every-fucking-one else!"
"it's not like that with me and annie! i was just being nice" hayden explains, almost sounding regretful. maybe he hadn't had as much fun as i had this afternoon. whatever.
"don't bother, it couldn't be anymore obvious" caleb growls.
guilt pokes at me. caleb hadn't had a good friend in a while since johnny orlando and i knew that. i really shouldn't have came here with hayden, not after that.
"look, it was my fault. don't be mad at annie" hayden speaks up. so he does know my real name, interesting. i don't look at him.
"fine then, you're off the team"
now i look at hayden. his jaw having dropped slightly open as his fists curl into balls. he's deciding what to say next but he doesn't know caleb like i do. he doesn't know that i've royally fucked things up for him.
"caleb, i think you're over reacting" he decides on saying, his tone still neutral.
"that's not fair caleb" i add on.
"i don't give a fuck what you think. annie we're leaving" he tried, lunging for my arm. i shake him off.
"not until you let him back on the team" i challenge, only to be ignored.
"then stop fucking with him!" caleb shouts and hayden takes a step back, knowing this is no longer about him. it was now about the girl who'd started this squabble, and her brother.
"i'm not! when are you going to believe me!"
"when you stop fucking things up! that's when"
his words pierce through me as i feel my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. deep down, i knew the way i reacted to our mom's death didn't help and that i was a handful, but i was always so sure i was still loved. a little too sure.
"you don't mean that" i say, trying to convince myself more than him.
"you know i do"
caleb turns his back on me and that was it. i'd pushed it too far this time.
"caleb!" i scream after him as he storms into his car and speeds off. i don't try to follow him.
i blink back tears as i hear hayden uncomfortably shift his weight from one foot to the other. i'd forgotten he was here.
"i'm sorry gracie, i should've have gotten involved" he stumbles, attempting to place a hand on my shoulder.
i didn't care that he was sorry, i cared that i'd managed to get rid of the one person who loved me.
"can you just fuck off already? we're not friends and incase you haven't noticed i don'y need your help so stop trying to give it to me!" i shout, snapping and forcing his hand off of my shoulder.
"hey look, i know things are obviously a mess right now but don't blame that on me!"
for the first time today, he looked angry as his jaw clenched and his brows pulled themselves downwards. his relaxed and gentle nature had seemingly disappeared.
"like it or not, this is your fault" i shout, feeling my finger nails digging dangerously into my palms.
"before you go pointing fingers, i just got kicked off of my road to college so i think this turned out worse for me!"
with that valid point, i push past him into his house and grab my backpack, not taking a second look as i hurry down the street.