the outsider

'𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟?'

𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑖𝑒 : 𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑒
i had spent the rest of the school week at kenzie's. her parents were out of town again, meaning it was no problem for me to stay round.
when things got epically bad with dad, sometimes i'd stay at kenzie's for however long needed. she didn't ask questions, because she knows she won't get answers, but her face usually says it all when i'd show up at three am with bruises scattered across my body.
although kenzie's parents were around a lot, they seemed close with her and her sister, maddie. it's something i can't help but be jealous of. even with her sister away at college and her parents hectic work life, the ziegler family were close knit and everyone knew it. meanwhile, my mother was dead, my father was an alcoholic, my sister hates me and my brother now hates me too. even before that, caleb was bound to abandon me sooner or later. i guess the time just came a lot sooner than expected.
i'm not sure wether the ziegler parents are particularly fond of me, based off of the look on their faces when they first met me. i guess they weren't expecting the only girl at school who'd stuck up for their daughter to have a nose ring and dressed primarily all in black. nether the less, they got used to me and often joked that i was like their third child considering the amount of time i would spend at their house.
little did they know, i wished that was true.
by the time i'd reached the school car park, kenzie was waving goodbye to a group of both boys and girls happily. why she chooses to still hang out with me, i'll never know.
"hey" she greeted, her smile still wide, unlocking her car for us both to climb in. unlike the small, battered car caleb, hayley and i had to share, kenzie's white jeep was spotless and had everything she'd ever need neatly packed in the boot.
"is caleb ever going to forgive me?" i whine as soon as my butt lands in the passenger seat. despite having four classes together today, he completely blanked me, several times.
her chocolate eyes softened.
"don't worry about it, you were angry. as you should have been" she assures, offering me a smile. and that's why we had managed to stay friends, she understands.
i can't find it in me to even force once into my lips. i couldn't wait for this shitshow of a week to pass.
kenzie pulls out of the car park, flickering through her playlist of predominantly ariana grande, doja cat and lizzo before settling on '𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙧' by ariana grande, waiting patiently in the cheque of cars all waiting to flood out of the car park. i catch a glance of hayden's car a few infront of us.
another person who'd been ignoring me. guilt was a feeling i was as unfamiliar with, but the more i thought about the way i treated hayden, the more guilt stabbed at me. usually, it doesn't make a difference if someone was just being nice to me, i wouldn't care. however, with hayden, it was different. wether it was because i might have blown his chance at a scholarship, or because he was the first person besides kenzie that had been nice to me for no reason, but to be nice.
i guess it's the universe's way of telling us that we belong in two strictly divided columns.  
"you still thinking about lover boy?"
kenzie grins, trying to bring a happier feel to our car journey. sometimes i swear she knows me too well.
"no"
she gives me a look of disbelief.
"okay fine. a little. i guess i still feel bad but when i tried to talk to him earlier on today, he blanked me"
kenzie opens her mouth, beginning to respond as the brakes come to a screeching halt and we both slam forwards towards the dashboard. luckily for her, her seatbelt was on tight enough, causing her to pulse forward, sending both her and her caramel curls rushing forward and stopping just before the dashboard. unfortunately my seatbelt was looser, allowing my head to meet the dashboard harshly.
"are you fucking kidding me?" i mumble under my breath, rubbing the left side of my temple, where sharp shots of pain where now shooting through. as if this week could get any worse.
kenzie scoops her wave of curls out of her face, as if it was nothing. we both glare across at the small blue car whom caused this. i was ready to flip them off and shout the off abuse out of the window, in return for my new aching headache.
"is that-" kenzie starts as i sit back up rightfully in my seat, adjusting my view as i catch sight of the passengers.
"johnny orlando" i finish, almost as starstuck as she'd sounded. for once, both of our glances shot right past lauren who hadn't even looked up from her phone in the passenger seat.
in the year of radio silence between johnny orlando, caleb and i, he had changed a 𝙡𝙤𝙩.
he had grown into his sharp, square jaw and quiff of blonde hair sprouted on top of his head. we always joked his hair was bigger than him, but now, now i can see why he insisted on growing it out.
"i thought he-"
"lived with his mom? he does." i splutter, blinking harshly to ensure what i was seeing was correct and wasn't a result of hitting by head moments earlier.
"then what the heck is he doing in attaway?" kenzie asked as the little blue car carrying the orlando siblings continued it's route, as if it hadn't almost crashed into us moments earlier.
"i have no clue, but it's gonna make caleb even worse"
i wondered if he'd seen me and was now too, feeling a pit in his stomach. i hoped not. there was a reason why we weren't friends anymore.
"we need to get your mind off of that" she said, looking either side once more before continuing.
the car ride to kenzie's was briefer than the one to my house. mainly because she lived in the rich area of attaway, or as locals refer to it, 'the founder areas'.
like many towns, attaway takes pride in their founder history and kept most of the town the way it had been originally mapped out and built. however, most of the houses in this area had living rooms bigger than my house and costs more than i spent in five years.
as the years passed and attaway's population grew, not everyone could afford the houses anymore, and so, the less fortunate had to live further out in the outskirts where more modern and affordable housing had been built. they weren't 𝙗𝙖𝙙 houses, but they were almost nothing compared to the houses people like kenzie were lucky enough to live in.
𝗷𝗼𝗵𝗻𝗻𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘀𝗲, i couldn't help but think. whatever he was doing back in town, i'm sure it isn't related to me and will pass soon. or at least i hope it will.
he was the only person that has ever permanently come between caleb and i.
i shake away the memories that were threatening to creep in on me and refocus my glance out of the window.
I had to admit, downtown attaway was cute, with the old town clock standing proudly at one end, despite being covered in more rust than paint, and the cobbled paths, but i knew i didn't belong in this part of town.
i rarely visited the founder parts unless it was for food or to see kenzie, so i hadn't noticed the teal coloured banners hanging between the rusty lamp posts.
'𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙤𝙧𝙨! 𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨. 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚!' the bold, yet pale periwinkle lettering read.
dread filled my body from head to toe. kenzie had been bugging me to go to the game today all week and i had a feeling i wasn't getting out of it.