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chapter thirteen.. devious.
"That I could be this human at this time breathing, looking, seeing, smelling That I could be this moment at this time resting, calmly moving, feeling"
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The next morning, when Tomi woke up cuddled up in the guest room's light brown bed, she could tell something was wrong.
Not with the house, the lighting overhead was still dim and the temperature had changed to a nice mellow warmth. It had nothing to do with the weather outside, either, the dark clouds had rolled in and her skin wasn't burning under a pungent sunshine that slid beneath her eyelids to be her wake up call.
It was her, that was wrong. It wasn't the kind of crooked painting wrong, the kind of wrong that made people bite their lip in annoyance or tap their foot to show displeasement. It was the kind of wrong that felt like inward death.
The kind of wrong that felt like a hollow rot slowly overtaking every limb of her body. Her stomach had stopped begging, and her mind had begun to reel back any effort it had been able to make the last few days.
Now, as she glanced around with her lips stuck together and her eyes struggling to move, she wondered if it was really worth it. If starving herself had been worth this pain that was so blindingly intense that it had woken her up.
A noise fled from her throat, a cough, a whine, a cry. She wasn't sure.
She moved to the edge of the bed and rolled out onto her knees. Slowly, on shaking legs and palms, she slowly crawled into the near bathroom and started the shower.
