Searching For You _ Bakudeku

7 - A testing knife

TW self harm in this chapter

Ever since that day Bakugo had trouble sleeping. Late into the night he would stare at his ceiling, wondering what was wrong with him. Deep in his chest something felt empty, like he had something ripped out without him knowing it. It seemed to be random as well. Sometimes he had no trouble, but usually he did. Bakugo heard a giggle through the wall and immediately sat upright. His chest hurt, felt like it was trying to close in on itself. He let out a ragged breath as he felt himself fall against the wall.

Breathing hurt. Moving hurt. Everything hurt. Closing his eyes he clenched a fist on his chest. Then the feeling was gone. It was liberating, like he could finally breathe. With his body leaned against the wall he could hear noises. Someone was walking around in the other apartment. A jolt of electricity ran through him when he heard the voice muttering quietly to itself. 

It was Deku. His voice was calming, soothing the pain that was running through every vein in Bakugo's body. He let out a sigh, feeling all the tension in his body melt away. Bakugo felt his eyes closing, his exhaustion catching up with him. For the first time since the incident, Bakugo had a good nights rest. 

Midoriya stared at the wall. The noise had been startling, and there had been nothing afterwards. He ran a hand along the wall, waiting for any noise whatsoever. But there was nothing. Pressing an ear to the wall he waited, holding his breath. Only the faint sound of breathing could barely be heard. What was Bakugo doing? First he knocks on the wall, then he just sits there? had there been a side effect of his quirk?

A small smile pulled at his lips at the thought of Bakugo on the other side of the wall, suffering because of him. He sat on his bed, leaning his back against the wall. Closing his eyes he let sleep wash over him, planning on visiting the teen tomorrow. 

The early morning sun came through the windows, irritating Bakugo out of his slumber. His headache was far weaker than usual, Meaning he had gotten a decent amount of sleep. The usual pain he felt in his body wouldn't have started yet, usually starting to take hold around noon. Sitting up Bakugo ran a hand over the bump that was forming on the back of his head, wondering why it didn't hurt. He glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand, having to do a double take when he read the time. 9:21. carefully he got out of bed, his entire body feeling weak from having rested for the first time in a while. He had to get started with his day.

He'd just finished his cereal when a knock at the door startled him. He waited but his parents didn't go to open the door. Were they not home? With a sigh he made his way to the door,  not even bothering to check who it was before swinging it open. A surge of what felt like electricity ran through his body when he saw who stood there. 

Midoriya, looking slightly different than usual. Hair more wild, clothes all black and Sharper eyes. 

Those eyes...

Bakugo shook his head, ridding his mind of whatever thoughts were about to follow. He didn't speak, simply stepped aside for Midoriya to walk into the apartment. The boy did so happily, seating himself at the table opposite where Bakugo had just been.

"come sit, we need to talk." Midoriya spoke, smiling at the still staring blonde. Giving a slight nod he shut the door before uncomfortably sitting in his chair. The whole time he never took his eyes off the green haired boy. Something was very wrong with Midoriya, yet no matter what he did he couldn't make himself be cautious of him.

"what do you want..." He asked curiously. Midoriya simply gave him a smile that made his insides turn to mush. His green eyes watching over Bakugo almost unblinkingly. It was under this strong gaze that Bakugo felt unsettled. His mind telling him this was wrong, but it felt so right. Almost as if his mind and body were thinking separately. 

"Katsuki, come here." Spoke Midoriya in that same calm voice. Was it a trick of the light, or had his eyes changed colour? But before he could have a good look his body automatically responded to the boy's words. Pushing himself up from his chair and walking to Midoriya's side. Bakugo kneeled on the floor, leaning his head onto his lap. A shiver of almost pleasure ran though him as a freckled hand ran through his hair.

"Good boy." cooed Midoriya, petting the soft spikes on the boy's head. Bakugo's hands were gripped onto Midoriya's ankles, his cheek staying pressed on the boy's thigh. Only now did he realise the emptiness was gone, filled, as if it had never been there to begin with. Closing his eyes Bakugo ignored it, he didn't want to think. Just to focus on the feeling of Midoriya's hands running through his hair.

Midoriya watched as Bakugo kneeled before him, feeling a sick kind of pleasure at what was happening. The man that had bullied him, called him useless, was kneeling before him. Begging for his touch. He could feel Bakugo's hands loosely gripping to his ankles, occasionally moving up his calves before returning to its original place. But this wasn't enough, Midoriya wanted to see how far he could go with his quirk after just a few uses.

"Katsuki." At response to his name Bakugo's body shuddered, but he didn't move. "Can you do something for me?" Bakugo looked up at Midoriya, his chin propped on the boy's thigh. His normal bright red eyes looked dull, faded, like he couldn't see anything in front of him. Reaching into his pocket Midoriya pulled out a small pocket knife, holding it in front of the waiting blonde. 

"stab yourself." A splitting headache ran through Midoriya's head, the tell tale sign of his quirk activating. Bakugo's shaking hand grabbed onto the tool, pulling out the bladed edge. His hand trembled as he clutched onto it tighter and tighter till his knuckles went white. Bakugo glanced from the blade to Midoriya. He simply stared down at Bakugo with a blank face. A small sob escaped his mouth, and he brought the blade down onto his thigh.

Blood started to form around the edges of the blade, slowly trailing down his leg. Acting as if the knife didn't exist, Bakugo looked up at Midoriya, waiting for approval. Midoriya did, petting the blonde's had soothingly, calling him a good boy. The headache that he had earlier faded to an irritating throb. Reaching down Midoriya puled the blade out of Bakugo, twirling it in his hand.

"Go clean up your leg, take good care of it." Midoriya said, grabbing a piece of tissue paper to wrap his knife in before pocketing it. Bakugo did as he was told, staggering to his feet and limping to the bathroom. Midoriya watched him close the door before standing up, checking himself and the floor over for any loose blood. When he found nothing he quietly left, closing the front door behind himself.

When Bakugo left the bathroom he froze, staring at his empty bowl laying abandoned on the table. Strange, he almost felt like something was supposed to be there. Picking up the bowl Bakugo went to drop it in the dish washer, flinching when pain flared through his thigh. Had he pulled a muscle? no... he hadn't done any extreme exercise recently. Pulling down his trousers slightly he stared at his leg, acting as if he couldn't see the bright white bandage wrapped around his thigh. With a shrug he walked back to his bedroom, planning to sleep off the slow throbbing pain in his head.