Addicted to the Alpha (editing)

Chapter 8- Friends?

* Chapter 8- Friends? *

Do you ever have that feeling where you are so completely and utterly disgusted with yourself, you have no idea what you're supposed to do? That feeling when you have no clue what on earth you were thinking when you made this awful decision, and that there is no way to reverse it?

That's the exact way I was feeling right now.

I was currently laying in Dean's bed, staring up at the white ceiling. My eyes were glued to it as if it were some mesmerizing painting that caught the eye of everyone, when in reality, it was nothing.

My mind had wandered so far in this past week that I had forgotten about my father.

I had forgotten about the fact that he was in a coma, forgotten I had a house of my own to take care of and most importantly, forgot that I wasn't supposed to be here.

I was supposed to be living alone in an old house, worrying day and night about whether my father would wake up from this coma or not. I was supposed to be sitting by his side day and night; but I wasn't.

I should have the strength to pull myself out of bed and pack up my clothes. I should have the strength to go downstairs and tell Dean that I was leaving.

I should have the strength to say goodbye.

In all honesty, being here a week and a half has affected me in many ways. I felt like I was cared about; like I actually meant something. Dean would wait on me hand and foot, making sure I wasn't hungry or that I felt okay.

My own father had never treated me so well. After my mother passed, it was as if he was on autopilot. He would never show any emotions; he would never smile, never laugh, never give hugs. All he did was work and sleep, leaving me practically on my own. It was like his body was there, but his spirit sure as hell wasn't.

I had been angry with him for the longest time. I was angry at God for taking my mother away and I was angry at the people at school who pitied me. I was angry at my father, who died along with my mother that day.

Yet at the same time, I loved him more then anything.

I was relieved he didn't use alcohol or drugs as his way of healing. I was relieved he hadn't commuted suicide, which would have truly left me alone.

I was relieved he still loved me.

Even though he came home from work everyday with dark bags under his eyes, he would ask me how my day was. When I returned the favor, he lied and told me it was great. He did everything to help me get through it when in reality, it should have been the other way around.

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the salty drop hit my upper lip. I quickly wiped it away, sitting up and erasing the thoughts from my mind. No matter how much I liked being here, I had to go home. I had to visit my father and I had to take care of my responsibilities.

I packed away all of Dean's sister's clothes and slipped on the clothes I first came here in, zipping my sweatshirt up. I took a deep breath before grabbing the large duffle bag and setting it on the bed, careful not to make to much noise.

It was early; around 8:00. I was never an early riser, but my thoughts had gotten the best of me this morning. Realizing Dean wasn't awake yet, I tiptoed down the stairs and into the kitchen, finding a piece of paper and a pen. I thought carefully about the words I would write on this note. I felt like this was the goodbye, and we would part ways, never thinking about each other again. But truthfully, I knew I could never forget him, realizing that the care he gave me could never be replaced.

Dean,

In the short time I had been here, you and I grew close. I felt like I had known you my whole life, and that we both understood each other.

You took such good care of me, I forgot about the necessities in my life. I forgot about my family, and how much my father needs me right now.

I guess this is my goodbye to you. Don't worry about me, I should be able to get home safely. I hope when you find this note you will not be mad, but understand my situation. Maybe if we see each other again in the future, I can explain it all to you. Thank you so much for everything.

Your friend (?) ,
Mia

I had left the question mark at the end of 'friend', not wanting to push it. I sighed before reading the note over again and setting it in the middle of the kitchen table, looking around the room.

I whispered a quiet "goodbye" to the house before walking out the front door quietly. Although, I don't know if it was towards the house, or to Dean.

***

When I had finally found my way out of the forest and to a road, I realized what a big mistake I had made. I had no idea where I was, or what way I was going. I should have stayed a little longer so Dean could have given me directions. But no, I had to be stubborn as always.

I groaned before I turned left and began to walk, trusting my gut. I walked and walked until I found a familiar road, realizing I wasn't too far from my house. Maybe a mile or so.

I picked up my pace; the warm afternoon sun beating down on my body.

An occasional car would pass by, paying no mind to me. I would offer them a kind smile but they wouldn't turn their head to look at me. I was both offended and relieved at this, offended so much they wouldn't help me but relieved they weren't going to jump out of the car and murder me.

I had never been happier when I saw the rusty old mailbox that had the last name 'Evans' on it. I sighed a sigh of relief, jogging all the way up the steep driveway to get to my house.

I opened the door and stepped inside, the cool air refreshing after spending the day walking in the heat.

I immediately ran to the home phone, seeing I had 10 missed messages. I took a deep breath before playing them back, each one saying the same thing.

Your father is stable, still in a comatose stage.

Every time I heard it, the urge to throw the phone at the wall had gotten larger.

It pained me, knowing my father hadn't woken up yet. I haven't visited him, I haven't spoken with the doctors or nurses. Hell, I didn't know if I was even allowed back yet after lashing out on the nurse.

At this point, I didn't care. I grabbed my car keys and drove to the hospital, one thing on my mind: take care of the only person I had left.

***

I know this is really short, the next one will be as well. It's basically just describing both Mia's and Dean's feelings of being apart. Shit is going to start going down soon, so get prepared. Again, I apologize for the short chapters.

And the reads I have been getting are INSANE, over 1,000. I'm so thankful for my readers, thank you so much.

Once again, Happy Holidays!!