50 Shades of Happy Birthday

Every Planet We Reach Is Dead - Camien

Imma give y'all a fair warning that this one is really weird and the inspiration has been lost to me but I doubt I could've just pulled this out of the depths of my brain without outside influence like... like drugs. From Andy Warhol. Okay enough of my ranting, read on brother.

Damien lounged on his couch, stretched out as he tried desperately to find something, anything interesting that daytime TV could offer. Of course, there was nothing. He'd settle for cartoons on the weekend, but no way in hell was he going to sit through Nick Jr., with it being a weekday and all. Pressing the off button on his remote, he opted to just lie there, hoping something, anything interesting would happen today. Unlike most wishes, his was about to actually come true. I'd tell you if magic was involved, but apparently I am contractually obligated to not disclose such info, so, such is life. But until that wish came true, Damien settled upon more animalistic ways of satiating his need to occupy himself.

The vigorous knocking on his apartment door had him jolting off the couch, pulling up his Tweety Bird pajama pants faster than a teenage boy whose parents came home early. On the way to the door he checked himself in the mirror, and every seemed alright. He wasn't planning on going anywhere or having any guests, so whoever it was at the door would just have to deal with his pajamas.

When he opened the door to see his friend Cody, his would-be guest looked a lot more surprised than he did. "Uh, am I interupting?" Damien looked confused until Cody pointed downwards with his hands, eyes directed up to the ceiling.

"Oh god, no!" Damien shut the door hurriedly, slamming it by accident only for it to swing back open and bump into him as he tried to tuck himself in such a way that would make his previous activities less obvious all while Cody just stood there dumbly, head turned away. Damien opened the door fully again after making himself decent and tried to look Cody in the eye. "Hey... Cody. Buddy. How's it going?"

"It's my fault, really." Cody shook his head, chuckling softly. "I knew it was your day-off. Should've called."

Damien gave a crooked smile, a little awkwardly, as he stepped aside to let Cody in. He tried to laugh it off as easily as Cody did, but that wasn't really happening. He locked the door and lingered a few steps behind Cody as they re-entered the living room he had just been in before he realized it. It was Cody's day off as well. Yet here he was, prancing in Damien's bachelor pad looking like he hadn't gotten a lick of sleep and just picked the first pair of clean clothes he found and rushed over. "What's going on, Codster?"

Cody rolled his eyes, deciding to let the nickname thing go for once. "I have something you need to see." Cody shoved his hands into his pocket, taking it out to reveal a palm full of several small, shiny blue objects.

"What the hell are those?" Damien asked. He thought they looked like pills, but they also looked like stones, the kind you see in the bottom of fish tanks. 

"I don't know exactly," Cody shrugged, picking one up with his other hand and holding it up closer to his eye. "Some weird old guy in a cloak gave it to me. Like, for free! Can you believe that?"

Damien choked on the air he was in the middle of exhaling, his face growing pale. "I can't believe you excepted it! Oh God no get that away from your mouth you idiot! It could be poisonous!" 

"Oh don't worry, it's not poisonous," Cody said, not letting his excitement falter one bit. "He said it was organic, or something. Probably a natural drug! Like Shrooms or whatever."

"CODY DON'T!" But it was too late. Cody had downed the things, all at once, and now Damien stared at him anxiously. "H-how do you feel?"

"No different, to be ho- oh, oh my god," Cody lurched, covering his mouth as he gagged. "Oh god, I'm gonna ralf." Damien chased him as he ran into the bathroom, waiting outside of the door for him. He waits for the sound of the toilet flushing and the sound of the sink before he knocked.