Lights Out

So That Just Happened...

I remember it feeling really weird. It didn't exactly hurt, it just felt really odd. But Shawn really seemed to enjoy it, so that's all that matters. He collapsed on top of me. He tried to catch his breath.

"Did you like it?" He said smiling. I smiled and nodded. He laid next to me. He grabbed my hand. I interlocked our fingers. I felt weird to be outside undressed, but this was a completely deserted lake, there were no houses for miles. And it wasn't on a main road. So I relaxed.

Shawn and I sat up. "Ready to eat beautiful?" He smiled. "Yeah. What did you pack?" I said blushing. "I packed airheads, tuna noodle salad, and lemonade." Shawn said sounding so adorable. We got our clothes on then started eating.

I saw something weird in mine. I picked it out and cleaned it off. It was a ring. But it had an unfinished knot in it.

"It's a promise ring, it's a promise that I will always be here for you. That I will love you forever. That even if we break up, I'll still be here for you. No matter how hard or bad the break up is. I promise that every time I hurt you, I'll at least try to fix it. And I promise I'll never take you for granted." Shawn said grabbing the ring and putting it on my left ring finger. "But the point of the unfinished knot, it that me keeping the promises will finish the knot, hold it together." Shawn added looking deep in my eyes. I just couldn't take my eyes off the ring.

It was so special and the meaning behind it was just amazing. I thought it was really cute that he even explained it to me. I couldn't help but smile like a total idiot.

"Thank you." I said still smiling. "Don't thank me, I wanted to get you it." Shawn said blushing. I laughed because he looked so cute when he blushed. I couldn't believe how happy he made me, like no one else could. He was hilarious, he was cute, he was sweet, he can sing well, and he's just... Amazing.

I smiled at him. We sat there staring in each other, smiling. For a while. Then it started getting dark and we packed up and got back into the car. Driving home, holding hands, watching the sunset. As we listened to a CD of slow love songs.

Once we got back. We went to sleep, for once, at a decent time. But this time, we didn't sleep cuddled together. I slept on the couch and he slept in his bed. I pretended it didn't bother me. We had spent the day together and had the most perfect time... And now he won't even fall asleep next to me.

Wow cool. I called my mom right when I woke up that morning. "Mom. Can you buy me a plane ticket? I want to come home." I said trying to be quiet. When Shawn walked in. "Why do you want to leave?" Shawn said looking at me like he were about to cry. "Mom, I have to go. I'll call you back later, just hold off on that. Love you, bye." I said hanging up. He walked over to me.

"Did you not want to do that, yesterday? Did I make you uncomfortable?" Shawn said whispering as he sat next to me and taking my hands in his. "No, I just miss home." I lied to him. "No, every time you've come to my house, you begged to NOT go home." Shawn said staring in my eyes. "Well I mean, I haven't seen my parents in a while. And..." I trailed off. "And... What?" Shawn said. "And... You didn't want to be near me last night! I feel like you used me." I said feeling my heart break. "No... I just thought... After spending the entire day together... Maybe you'd want some space..." Shawn said squeezing my hands. "So it was an accident? You didn't want me just for that?" I said looking deep in his eyes. "If that's all I wanted from you, I don't think I would have waited that long." Shawn said making a point I had to admit.

We got up and made popcorn and started watching American Dad! (American Dad! is a show based off of a CIA Agent from Langley Falls, Virginia. Who harbors an Alien from Area 51 and it follows his family and the funny events that happen to them.)

We kept laughing like crazy. It was cloudy outside as if the perfect day yesterday never existed.

I loved being around him, he was so sweet and completed me. His parents left and asked us to clean. We turned our music on a speaker and sang along loud, laughing and cleaning. After we finished cleaning, we started cooking, which was a bad idea because we made a huge mess.

We laughed still singing to our music, we were dancing around like idiots. We were having a perfect time together, again. It was amazing. After we ate we cleaned up our mess and cuddled. I didn't even notice we both started falling asleep. I woke up to Shawn's mom yelling at him.

"Why was there a condom wrapper in the car Shawn?!" She yelled like she had never heard of volume control. "I have no idea! It's not mine!" Shawn yelled back. "Shawn! I know it's yours! So there just happened to be a condom while you and your girlfriend spent the day alone?!" His mom yelled louder. "We didn't have sex! For your information we're both virgins! And she's waiting until marriage!" Shawn screamed so loud I could hear the anger in his voice clearly. "A virgin? That slut doesn't know the meaning of that word." I heard her spit out as I felt my heart shatter. "That's a horrible thing to say about a girl who already feels she's not good enough." Shawn said with tears in his voice. "She isn't good enough. I don't know why you bother with her." Shawn's mom said.

Right then I slipped my shoes on and ran out. I didn't realize I had slammed the door. A few seconds later Shawn was chasing me. "Jordan! Don't go, please!" Shawn yelled catching up to me fast. "No! She hates me! And she's right! You're too good for me! I don't know why you bother, either. I'm not worth it!" I said falling in the grass. Shawn kneeled next to me. "You want to know why I bother?" He said with a serious tone of voice. I nodded. "Because I know you are an amazing person deep down. And I can see that. And you're open with me, she doesn't know you like I do. I know you try not to hurt others. I know you try to make people like you. And not everyone will. But I do, I love you a lot. And I think you're beautiful. And I think if I put in the effort and time, I know it will be worth it. When I get to see you, finally be happy with yourself and with your life. Because I know you want someone to love you, and care about you. And I want to be that person, forever." Shawn said staring at the grass. "You don't have too. You're not being forced. If you don't want me, that's okay." I said trying not to cry. "I know it's my choice. And I'm happy with my choices. I don't want to change them. I know I don't have to... I want too." Shawn said making me smile and finally feel important. "But she hates me. Everyone always says your mom knows best." I said feeling sad again. "It doesn't matter. She doesn't know you like I do, of course she thinks differently." Shawn said pushing my hair behind my ear.

I stared up at him, he was so perfect. "Can we go somewhere? Just you and i? Where no one can judge us?" I said looking up at him. He shook his head. "No, but we can live our lives and not care what anyone thinks." He said.

We got up and walked back to his house. Shawn's mom glared at me. I looked back at her. "Hi?" I said annoyed that she wouldn't look away. She mumbled something under her breath and went back to what she was doing.

I walked upstairs and laid down it was only 9 o'clock. But I felt like sleeping.