Lights Out

Ready To Run?

Hey guys it's Jordan! I want to apologize for this chapter sucking... Uh my kitchen caught on fire a few days ago. And this wifi sucks so badly. Love you guys, thanks for the support.♡♡♡☃☃☃

Pretty soon Shawn and I had decided we all needed to see our families. So Shawn wanted to go visit his parents, Kaylee wanted to see her family, and Paige got in touch with her family. But Shawn wanted me to go with him. So I agreed.

A few days later Kaylee's parents picked her up. My parents promised to keep checking on Paige until her parents got there. Shawn packed an extra outfit that he had left at my house before. And I packed a bag of 2 pairs of pajamas, a dressy outfit, a pair of heels, a pair of sandals, a sundress, pair of jeans, and a few shirts. And Shawn's parents had paid for our tickets, so we printed them out at my house.

We got ready to go to the airport, my parents dropped us off. We had Shawn's phone. The phone I parents got to replace my old one. And my mom's iPod. I started listening to music, I put it on shuffle. And leaned back relaxing.

We got on our flight, it would be only a few hour flight. Pretty soon after take off I fell asleep. I don't remember landing but I woke up freaking out. I screamed. And a few seconds later Shawn barged in pulling me into his arms. "Baby, you wouldn't wake up on the plane so I carried you. And i had my dad put you in the car while I got our bags. It's okay." He said rocking me.

I could barely breath. I fell asleep on a plane and woke up in someone else's house in their bed. It's like how as a kid you fell asleep on the couch or in the car and woke up in your bed... It was like that except I woke up in a different country, not in my bed. So as you can imagine I was pretty scared. But at least I woke up in Shawn's bed. "I'm sorry, I haven't been here in forever, I forgot what your house even looked like. I fell asleep on the plane and woke up in an unfamiliar place..." I said hiding my face in the crook of his neck. "I get it baby. But I wouldn't have let anyone take you without a huge fight." He said rubbing my back.

"I really love you, Shawn." I whispered so quietly I could barely hear myself. He deeply kissed me taking me completely by surprise. Pretty soon his tongue was all over my mouth and I had pulled his shirt off. I was feeling up his perfectly toned abs and through his hair that always seemed to be on point. And his hands were feeling all over my body. When suddenly I stopped him.

"No..." I said pulling away. "Jordan, there has to be a reason, we've been dating for a year... And I know there's something you're not telling me." He said trying to look into my eyes. "You're the only person I've ever kissed okay... I'm just not ready!" I said covering my face and feeling as if I were about to cry. "Why didn't you tell me? Then I would've eased up on you... Now I feel like a dick." Shawn said scooting away. "I'm sorry... I'm... Embarrassed..." I whispered. "Embarrassed... Why?" Shawn said looking at me confused. "Because I know you want it... And I'm inexperienced... And... It's just pathetic." I said feeling worthless.

"It's okay. If you aren't ready. It doesn't matter. I'm just happy to be with you." Shawn said intertwining our fingers and kissing the back of my hand. I blushed. "You're so beautiful." Shawn said pushing my hair behind my ear. "I'm a llama." I said crossing my eyes. He laughed.

I absolutely loved his laugh, his smile, his... Love. I love everything about him, and everyday I get to spend with him I feel better about myself and I feel like I'm worth something. He makes me feel beautiful and perfect. And it was amazing how our parents got along. And how his parents loved me. But it amazed me how he impressed my mom. My mom has only ever liked 1 of my friends. Her name is Alissa. But no one impressed my mom, but he did. And he made see things I never noticed before. Like how bright the sun shines, or how the world seemed like a great place with him around.

He completed me. And I hoped he'd never leave me, because before him... I was self harming, starving myself, hating everything about myself, wishing I were dead. So it would all be back, and I can't handle the sadness again. I guess Shawn saw me freaking out. "Baby, are you okay?" He said rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand. "Y-yeah I'm f-fine." I stuttered. "Promise?" Shawn said looking at me concerned. "Yeah. I promise. Are your parents here?" I said changing the subject. "No, they won't be until late tonight. They left us money saying we could go drive to get dinner or get delivery." Shawn smiled. "Oh! Let's order a large pepperoni stuffed crust. And let's spend the night watching Netflix." I smiled.

Shawn laughed. "Can we watch Harry Potter?" Shawn widened his eyes at me. "Shawn, for the last time. By watching Harry Potter you won't become a wizard." I laughed. "Yeah, I'm a wizard, you're a fabulous llama named Hamilton, it's legit." Shawn said sounding serious. "No I said I'm gonna marry a Llama named Hamilton and have fabulous Llama babies." I giggled. "What about me?! Why can't we have fabulous wizard llama babies?" Shawn said teasingly. "Because I don't want my kids to be muffin addicts." I said teasing him. "Hey... Muffins are good, okay?" Shawn said pouting. "Yeah, they are really good, you're right." I said kissing his cheek. "Well let's order the pizza, what do you wanna watch?" Shawn said dialing the number to Dominos. "Let's watch every season of Hannah Montana Forever." I said just wanting to see his reaction. "Whatever makes you happy, Jordan." Shawn said focusing on his phone. "What is so important?!" I said grabbing his phone to see what he was looking at. He had been texting his ex since before we got on the plane. I just felt my heart shatter. I gave him his phone back. I ran and grabbed my stuff. I grabbed my bag but Shawn stopped me in his doorway. "It's not what you think. Please, I'll let you read them. Just... Sit down and I'll let you read them." Shawn said with pleading eyes. I sat down. He handed me his phone, I unlocked it and began to read his texts.

She was asking him why he'd date someone so low and he sent her a huge paragraphs about great things, I didnt know he saw some of these things in me, all I see is flaws. "I'm sorry, I thought you were talking to her about dumping me or something." I said feeling stupid. "Of course not, I regret giving her one chance, like I'm going to give her another one." Shawn said reassuring me.

I nodded still feeling sort of upset. The pizza came and we watched Netflix. Before I knew it Shawn was cuddled up to me asleep. But I couldn't sleep, I was thinking too much. I was hurting too much. I couldn't help but think about how Shawn deserved so much better. He was successful, young and attractive. He could have anyone I had no idea why he wanted me or saw in me.

After thinking long and hard I started dosing off. And I had terrible dreams.