B̥ͦi̥ͦl̥ͦl̥ͦi̥ͦe̥ͦ e̥ͦi̥ͦl̥ͦi̥ͦs̥ͦh̥ͦ i̥ͦm̥ͦḁͦg̥ͦi̥ͦn̥ͦe̥ͦs̥ͦ

Ralinia

Diary entry 001: 2-4-14
  Dear ralinia,
I named you because I find it weird to just call you diary. I would like to name you as if I was talking to a friend because my mom and dad are going to make me write in you.

I woke to the smell of roses.
I cried to the smell of roses.
I laughed and smiled to the smell of roses.
I think I might even die to the smell
Of roses.

*end of entry*

Diary entry 002: 2-10-14

Dear ralinia my mom has told me to write I'm in you again.

I had an episode today.

I completely broke down in dance class.
I was in my head to much and went in the bathroom to cut myself.

The reason is I hate yelling.
It makes me feel as though I'm in the wrong.
I'm the problem. My mom had yelled at me before dance class about my attitude.
I admit I have one sometimes, but I didn't then. I don't think she understands me.
She try to. She doesn't listen to my words and try to put them into consideration.

I wish I could just knock some sense in her.
JUST UNDERSTAND ME!

Diary entry 003: 2-12-14

I find it helpful to talk to you because no one else listens.

I got yelled at again.

I cried, usually when a grown person cries it gains so much more attention than a child.
When I cry people always say I'm being dramatic. With them it has to be with reason.

They don't try to see what's wrong with me, understand me. They don't ask what goes on in my head. Why was I crying.

I don't think she knows I cut.
I wonder if I die would she care then.

Would anybody?

Would they cry tears of pain or joy or laughter.

Am I just a person to them.
Someone who hogs air.
Someone who cries about meaningless things.
I'm human too! I just want to be heard!
Understood!

Diary entry 004: 2-13-14

These entries are becoming more frequent.
I like writing my feelings down.
It makes an outlet.

I met someone today.
Finally after my 13 years of living.

Her names Billie.
She has these beautiful blue eyes and the cutest button nose and thick pink lips.

I wish I was as pretty as her.

She's in my dance class.

She finally decided to talk to me.

She asked me if I was ok.

She said she saw me crying that day I had a episode.

She said she would like to be friends and I agreed.

She had blonde hair but her mum finally let her die it.

I think I'm gonna like our friendship.

Maybe one day I can tell her my feelings and not you. No offense nia.

It'll just be nice to talk to a human.