Homestuck X Readers

Football (Human!Karkat X Reader)

{TW: #swearing, #fluff. It's a football game. And Karkat. Of course there's swearing. XoD}

{(f/f/t)=Favorite Football Team, (l/f/t)=Least Favorite Football Team, (number)=Random Number)}

Your name is (f/n) (l/n), and you're currently waiting to be picked up to go to your first NFL game. Your boyfriend, Karkat Vantas, and his family offered to take you to the (f/f/t) and (l/f/t) game this weekend; he was taking forever as usual. Luckily, his tardiness gave you some extra time to look a bit nicer than you normally do. Your (h/l), (h/c) hair was curled at the tips, and you actually applied just the right amount of makeup to compliment your (e/c) eyes. You wore a white long-sleeved shirt under your (f/f/t) jersey, a matching scarf and beanie, some plain skinny jeans, and a pair of (f/c) high tops. After you checked your hair in the mirror again, there was a rough knock on the door.

"It's me, bulgelicker," a scratchy, yet familiar voice on the other side said. You opened the door and smiled at the figure standing on your porch.

"Hey, Karkat," you greeted him happily. Karkat just rolled his red eyes and fiddled with the hem of his black sweater, which sported a (f/f/t) logo.

"Yeah, sorry for being late or whatever. Kankri wouldn't shut the fuck up about how 'football games are very triggering.' Anyways, get in the fucking car, it's a 3-hour drive to the stadium, so we plan on getting there before a bunch of insufferable sons of bitches take all of the good parking spots." You nodded in understanding, yelled a quick goodbye to your guardian, and climbed into the backseat of the Vantas' family car with Karkat.

"Oh, hello, (f/n)," Kankri said, turning around from the front seat to face you, "I'm quite glad you could accompany us on this family outing. Although you are not directly related to us by blood ties, it is still a joy to consider you an important part of our family. However, I personally did not want to partake of this certain triggering event. I would have preferred traveling to a more peaceful environment, such as a museum, or possibly an art exhibition. I find football to be-"

"Kankri," the Signless interrupted (you had no idea why everyone called him the Signless, and you didn't plan on asking), "Please spare the girl. You're spending 3 hours in a confined space with all of us, so refrain from lecturing anyone as much as possible." Surprisingly, Kankri had no way to counter that. He turned back around while the Signless addressed you. "(f/n), thank you so much for coming."

"I should be thanking you!" you exclaimed, "You're the one who was generous enough to let me come!" The oldest Vantas smiled, but before he could reply, Karkat spoke up.

"Can we get a move on yet?" he asked, "Or am I just going to keep stuffing my ears with your useless expressions of shitty gratitude?"

The Signless sighed and started driving as Kankri blew his whistle and muttered, "Language, Karkat. Triggered." You chuckled and ruffled Karkat's albino mop of hair.

"Yeah, Karkles. Language," you teased.

"Like you're any fucking better, (f/n)!" he responded with a playful nudge.

"Asshole!"

"Nookwhiffer!"

"Shithead!"

"Fuckass!"

Yeah, this just about sums up your relationship with Karkat. You could both get pretty loud and pissed off at times, and each of you were there to calm the other one down or scream profanities together. You'd admit that you like romcoms, but not nearly as much as Karkat did. You've slept with each other occasionally, but never in a sexual way (You're both 16, and you are NOT taking any chances).

You both continued to cuss each other out until the Signless intervened. "Just so you two are aware, I won't allow any sloppy makeouts in the backseat, okay?" You and Karkat went silent. Damn, the Signless was really good at shutting people up.

~~Timeskip brought to you by a dancing Psiioniic~~

After finally arriving at the football stadium, crashing a few tailgate parties, and buying some overpriced refreshments (seriously, that shit was expensive!), You and the Vantas family found your seats. They weren't extremely close to the action, but it was positioned at the exact angle where you could see the entire field.

"Oh my gog, FINALLY," sighed an impatient Karkat as seated himself to your right.

"Come on, it wasn't that long of a car trip," you told him reassuringly.

"Well, I guess it wasn't too bad, since you were there."

"..."

"..."

"Holy shit, Karkat. That was cheesy as fuck."

"Yeah, it was. Sorry, (y/n)."

You gave him a quick peck on the cheek and said, "I said it was cheesy, that doesn't mean it's bad. Lighten up a bit! We're at an NFL game!!"

Karkat shrugged and said something, but you couldn't hear him; the game had started and (l/f/t) had the starting kickoff. This was going to get interesting.

~~Another timeskip courtesy of Kanaya's chainsaw~~

The first half went extremely well for the (f/f/t). They had a solid defense, caught 3 interceptions, and scored 5 touchdowns, so the current score was 35-7.

The second half? Not so good.

You weren't really paying attention to the game as much, so when Karkat suddenly jumped up, spilled your shared popcorn, and yelled, "YEAH!! GO GO GO!!!", it kinda scared the living shit out of you. That was temporary, however, since every (f/f/t) fan in your section (minus Kankri) had started cheering for their team. The quarteback had just made an amazing pass to the wide reciever, and they had just ran over half of the field and scored another touchdown.

"Oh HELL yes!!!" you yelled, adding a fist pump for added effect. Your good mood changed quickly once you spotted the two yellow flags on the field.

"Oh shit..." you, Karkat, and the Signless groaned in unison.

The referee walked to the center of the field to announce why there were flags. "There were two fouls in that play. First foul: Holding, Number (number), offense. Play restart on the first down. Second foul: Illegal motion, Number (number), offense. 15 yard penalty."

Every (f/f/t) fan in the stadium exploded with rage, but none were louder than you and Karkat.

"ILLEGAL MOTION?! WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"BULLSHIT!!! THAT CALL WAS TOTAL, GRADE-A, FRESH FROM THE FUCKING FARM BULLSHIT!!!"

"WHAT KIND OF A FUCKING REFEREE ARE YOU?!?!"

"GO TO HELL AND FUCK YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY FUCKING SPOON YOU WORTHLESS SHITSPONGE!!!"

Once the next play had started, everyone had calmed down a bit, even though you could practically see the tension in the air. The third quarter ended with the (l/f/t) scoring a few touchdowns, changing the score to 35-21. In the fourth quarter, there was not a single fan (who isn't named Kankri Vantas) that was left sitting down. There was the occasional "TACKLE HIM, YOU PUTRID SACK OF SHIT!!" and "HOW COULD YOU FUCKING MISS THAT PASS?!" when it was necessary, and another uproar broke out when the (l/f/t) tied with the (f/f/t), causing them to go into Sudden Death Overtime. Long story short, (l/f/t) won by a field goal, you flipped your shit, and Karkat was surprisingly trying to calm you down.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!"

"(f/n), calm the fu-"

"WE ALMOST BEAT THEM!! THE FUCK WAS UP WITH THAT SHITTY DEFENSE?!"

"Okay, seriously, you-"

"WE COULD HAVE WON IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT BULLSHIT CA-"

"(F/N) FUCKING (L/N) CALM YOUR ASS DOWN!"

You decided to calm your ass down.

~~Final timeskip thanks to drunk Amporas~~

You were on the road, halfway home from the football game, tired as hell, and you had lost your voice due to all that screaming. You yawned and leaned against Karkat sleepily. He responded by wrapping an arm around your shoulders while gently stroking your (h/c) locks. Smiling, you closed your (e/c) eyes and cuddled closer to your boyfriend.

"Love you, Karkat," you whispered before drifting off to sleep. He planted a soft kiss on your forehead, holding you tightly.

"Love you too, (f/n)."