A Simple Favor

17

Y/N POV

I couldn't stop replaying the kiss over in my head. The way that Blake's lips felt on mine. How my mind seemed to stop working. How my body felt hot and tingly, burning with the need and desire to go even further.

But then my thoughts would drift to the feeling I felt once I pulled away. The blonde woman looked so unaffected, it made my heart ache. This only proved to me that I have no chance with her. She sees me as nothing more than a friend. I knew there was only one way I'd be able to get over her.

Blake POV

I couldn't believe how good kissing Y/N felt. Her lips were so soft and tender and she tasted so good. I just wanted to pull her into my lap and make out with her for hours. Fortunately, at least one of us (her), had self control. 

After a lot of self reflection these past few weeks, I have realized that I have a crush on Y/N. And a pretty big one at that. I obviously know that nothing will ever happen between us considering she's straight, but a small part of me can't help but get lost in the imaginary world of what it would be like to call Y/N mine. 

Ever since our kiss, I sensed a lot of tension between us. I didn't know why that was. Maybe she felt weirded out by it. I wasn't sure. I did know, however, that Y/N was avoiding me, and I was starting to get worried. 

Since Monday happened, the shorter woman has stopped chatting with me, stopped texting me, stopped going to our weekly dinners and sleepovers. I'm honestly starting to get extremely worried. What if I did something wrong? What if she thought I was gross? 

It seemed like I was always in a state of panic now, and I felt like I was missing something. Not being around Y/N, and not getting to hang out with her like I used to was causing me a lot of distress.  

It's been two weeks since our kiss and her behavior only seems to be getting worse. Of course she still kicks ass in our scenes, but once the cameras cut, she goes to her trailer. No goodbye. No invite to go with her like usual. She just leaves.

It was Sunday now, and I'm finally going to confront Y/N. I can't deal with this any longer. I miss my friend, and my heart was slowly breaking more and more each day that I didn't see her.

My hands shook as I grabbed my phone. I dialed her number, but it went straight to voicemail. After the beep, I started to talk.

"Hey...uh Y/N." I took a deep breath and wiped my sweaty palms on my pants. "I'm calling because.....because I really miss you." My voice cracked unexpectedly. I cleared my throat and tried to calm myself down.

"We haven't talked in what feels like forever, and-and I know you're avoiding me. I just....I just don't know why. If I hurt you....I'm so sorry. Please....if you hear this, know that I am here for you, whatever you need. I want my friend back." I ran out of time, so I sent my message then hung up. 

I had no clue if she'd get it, but all I could do was hope.

Y/N POV

When my phone began to ring and I saw that it was Blake, I immediately ignored it. I couldn't handle talking to her right now. 

I turned back to the TV, but my phone dinged, signalling that I have a voicemail. I really didn't want to, but my curiosity got the best of me, and I pressed play.

"Hey...uh Y/N......I'm calling because.....because I really miss you.......We haven't talked in what feels like forever, and-and I know you're avoiding me. I just....I just don't know why. If I hurt you....I'm so sorry. Please....if you hear this, know that I am here for you, whatever you need. I want my friend back."

I wanted to cry. I could feel a lump rapidly forming in the back of my throat, making it harder to breath. I played the message again, and this time, I couldn't hold back the tears. 

Blake sounded so lost and so sad, and I was the reason for that. How could I have let myself be that selfish? I caused her to feel this way. I ignored her and pushed her away because I was scared not only because of what I felt for her, but because of the consequences that could come from those feelings.

I learned a long time ago that love is a dangerous thing. No matter what kind of relationship, love was like handing someone a gun and giving them the choice to either shoot you with it, or take out the bullets and lock it in a safe. 

My dad chose the first option, and there is a scare on my heart to prove that. I knew that if I let Blake in, and/or somehow got the chance to be more than a friend to her, I was putting myself at risk of getting shot again. I swore that I'd never do that to myself. 

But somehow, it's as if Blake took the gun from my hands herself. My heart was still in pain, aching with want everyday for the blue eyed woman. No matter what I did, I was always at risk. Always in danger. 

I knew it wasn't healthy, but it was the safest thing to do. If I kept her, and everyone else at arms length, maybe I'd be able to survive in this world. 

But it seemed that my needs for her outweighed the dangers, because all too soon I found myself jumping into my car and speeding off to her house.