A Simple Favor

18

Y/N POV

As soon as I arrived outside of her house, I wanted to just drive off and act like I was never there. My hands shook and my heart raced. But I knew I needed to do this. It wasn't fair of me to cause Blake pain that she didn't deserve.

I took a deep breath, and took my key out of the ignition. God knows what could happen if I walked into that house. One thing I did know, was that I needed to be prepared for every outcome. Every outcome.

Okay Y/N....you can do this. Just talk to her....Breath.

I thought to myself as I climbed out of my car. My body went into fight or flight mode, and my head screamed at me to run, but I pushed those thought's aside and forced myself to keep walking. 

It felt like a 10 mile walk in a minefield just walking to Blake's front porch. I clenched my fist to keep my hand from shaking as my other one rang her doorbell.

It took a few moments for Blake to answer the door, but when she did, nothing but shock was written on her face. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened.

"Y/N...." She said, her voice just barely audible. I swallowed. "Ca-can...can I come in?" I asked, my own voice threatening to break. The blonde nodded and stepped aside. 

She locked the door behind me and gestured to the couch in her front room.

I sat down and watched her walk to the chair across from me. Her body seemed tense as she sat, and I couldn't blame her. I was freaking the fuck out.

There were a few minutes of awkward silence until I got up the courage to speak. "I..I heard your v-voice mail." I admitted, not meeting her eyes.

Blake didn't say anything, so I took that as an invitation to continue. "I just....I just wanted to say, that I-I'm so sorry." My voice cracked, and I knew I'd end up crying soon.

"You didn't deserve me treating you like that." I sniffled. "And, before you ask, it's nothing that you did....in fact, out of most of the people I have met in my life...y-you have treated me the best. And-and I'm so grateful for that, Blake." A few tears escaped my eyes, but I kept my gaze trained on the floor.

I took a deep breath. Knowing that what I was about to say, could either seriously fuck up everything, or possibly make my life what I always dreamed it to be.

"It's just...I-I like you...like, like like you... and I'm terrified that I'll do something to mess up our friendship, and I got scared after we kissed bec-because....I knew in that moment, that I wouldn't be able to be just your friend anymore. I knew in that moment that it was either all or nothing. But how could you ever like me back? Look at me, I'm nothing and you could have any woman you want, so why would you ever choose me? So I knew that the only way I'd be able to save myself, was by distancing myself from you, so I could get over you."

I couldn't even see anymore from the tears pooling in my eyes. It felt so freeing to finally be able to tell her this, but at the same time, I'm scared shitless.

"All my life...I've had to deal with rejection. I mean...my D-dad left when I was a kid and I just had my mom...she never had time for me because she worked 3 jobs just to put me through school. I never had it easy making friends...w-when I realized that I actually liked women, that made it even harder. I was never the popular kid Blake, I was the quiet nerd who people bullied." I confessed, all the horrible memories of being push and spat on, having my books slapped to the floor, being teased in the hallways, and being told to just kill myself flashed across my head, making me feel like I was back in high school again.

I couldn't say anything else. It was hard enough to get that out while doing my best to hold back sobs.

"Y/N..." Blake sounded so heart broken. "I'm so sorry." I didn't even realize Blake had moved until I felt her strong arms wrap around me, pulling me close and just holding me while  I cried. it had been a long time-since high school- that I had cried like this. 

But for the first time, I didn't feel shame. Or embarrassed. I felt safe, and loved. I felt like I was home, in Blake's embrace.

I'm not sure how long we sat there, but Blake didn't say a word the entire time, and I really appreciated that.

When I had calmed down enough to pull away and look at her, I realized that she too, had been crying. 

"Y/N what happened to you, you didn't deserve any of that. None of it. You are the smartest, strongest, most beautiful human being I know. You have the kindest heart and the most gentle soul, and I am truly lucky to have gotten to know you. But please, never say that you are nothing. Because that is stupid. You are more than something. Y/N You are everything to me. You have trusted me and stuck by me, even after learning about me and my past. No one has ever done that." Her own voice became fractured. 

"These past few weeks, being without you...it's been so painful. I've missed you so much. And-and it made me realize how I can't live without you in my life. You are the light that brightens my whole world, and when you were gone, everything was dark and black."

Blake took a deep breath and gently reach out to tuck a strand of hair back behind my ear. "What...what I'm trying to say it....I-I like you too. And I don't want to live in this world not being the one who can kiss your lips. I don't want to live in this world not being the one to comfort you and hold you when you need it. I can't bare not having you."

Her words slowly sunk in, and I realize what she was saying. I didn't even have time to react, because then, her lips were on mine.