Never Be Alone {A.K x Reader x B.S. Fanfic}

Chapter 4: Scribbles

I stay seated on the couch, not something I'd usually do when seeing Candy, but for some reason the air, the atmosphere felt different. Doctor Candy was in the hallway with Wolf. I know they were talking about me, it's not that hard to pick up on. Especially since Candy told me to sit on the couch for today. You only ever find yourself on the couch when something serious is going on. Is something serious going on? I mean yeah, I had a little episode back there, but no one noticed it. Or well maybe they did. Wolf looked concerned. But he's dealt with way more things than me just staring directly at a woman that appears in my memories that I didn't even know I had. Like, what the hell was that? Who was Anna talking too? Why the hell was I in a bathroom, let alone on the floor? Maybe it was because I was having an episode, but I seemed fine. At least in that moment and the way Anna had looked at me...

"Okay Y/N," Doctor Candy spoke, causing me to jump. My mind comes back to reality still racing quickly with all these questions and self confliction. My eyes look to find Doctor Candy walking over. I don't look at her face, I could already tell this talk was going to be different from our others by the tone of her voice. And when she sits in the chair across from me, she doesn't cross her right leg over her left, instead she leans forward and places her elbows on her knees. I could feel her brown eyes staring at me, but I refused to look and gripped tighter onto the whiteboard and marker in my hand.

"Before we get started I want to apologize for Cherry's behavior during the group today. It was uncalled for and she's been having a rough time," Doctor Candy pauses as I slowly nod my head up and down. "But she understands now that everyone deals with trauma a different way. It's okay that you haven't spoken. You're still communicating with us in a way and that's all we can ask for." I nod once again, listening to each one of her words. But still I wanted to get up and leave to find Anna and ask her all the questions inside of my head. I needed some type of answers even if I didn't at the same time.

"On that note...Wolf told me Anna came to see you. And that you might have had an episode..." Her voice trails off, as I glance down at my hands. My fingers pick at one another, red marks appearing on my skin. I hear a soft sigh before hearing creaking from the floorboards. I know what she wants. But honestly, I can't give her it when I don't know exactly what's to give. "Y/N, if you remember anything it's beneficial for you to tell us, tell me. It'll help me to help you." I remained silent and soon the room filled with silence. I made no gesture to take a hold of the pen to put it to the board. I simply sat there, with my eyes glued to where they had been. And it didn't take long for Doctor Candy to finally stand. I didn't hear her say anything. Instead, like a flash before my eyes I was walking behind Wolf back to my room. I knew Anna would no longer be here so I didn't glance over to where I last saw her.

Finally we made it to my room and I walked in. Wolf spoke something, but I didn't pay any attention. Instead I waited till he closed the door before walking over to my desk and taking a seat at the table. I reach underneath feeling the material of the journal brush against my fingertips before I finally pull it out, followed with the pen. I place both on top of my desk and flip to a fresh pair writing down what had happened, rather quickly. I wrote about being in a bathroom and Anna was there, along with some other familiar person. Yet, I still don't know what any of this means. And how could I? All they tell me is something traumatic happened and that I have amnesia from it.

A sigh escapes my lips as I flip the page and stare at the lines before me. I close my eyes a moment, feeling a bit stressed. The pen I hold in my hand hovers over the page and I let my mind race around as fast as possible. I wanted to remember more. I wanted something else to connect, something else to click. But as much as I sat there and as much as I wanted to say something, nothing came. I threw my eyes open and tossed my pen down, shaking my head from side to side, while leaning back into my seat. And no matter how long I sat there, nothing came.