Another Chance ~Dabihawks~

I'm a Monster

( this chapter is brought to you by inside Hawks mind mostly )

To him. Dreams we're another look on reality. A way your brain tells you things. A way to escape but, get put in the same place. Some dreams took him to his childhood, others to the present. In dreams he had his wings, in others he could float while in some he died at a young age. Dreams we're another look on our world to him. Dreams. Why can't I dream of nothing else? He thought. He could pray to the gods and, goddess they would never answer. No one ever did. Why? Are they scared? Are they mad? Who are THEY? Dreams would be apart of thing that would make him go mad.

"Sweet dreams...Kei..." Said a voice from his childhood. A voice he had known. What happened to him? Where is he? Did he die? Disappear?
He could ask questions all he want, he would never get the answer. Not now, not ever. Sleepless nights had become the normal for him. His dreams. They're like the ghosts of his past coming back for him. They whisper to him. They hate him. They kill him. They hurt him. Everything he's done comes back to hunt him down. If I died... Would they follow me there too?
What was he thinking. Of course they would. No matter what he did. He was trapped in his own hell in his mind. My mind is another hell for me.

Waking up after sleeping for about an hour and, twelve minutes isn't kind. He didn't want to do anything. He wanted to just lay down and, stay down. Sweet dreams... Whispered a voice as his body shot up. Of course no one was there. Just his mind playing tricks on him, nothing more. Sometimes he wondered if he should've just took his life, or took drugs. Maybe that would've- No. He thought before hitting himself softly.
What made him miss Dabi so much?

Was it the dates?
The way he treated him like a person?
The love?
Or was it everything else.

Of course he would never get the answer now as he wants him dead. No denying that. The male finally got out of his bed to get ready.

Brush your teeth? I'll do mouthwash maybe, some gum.
Food? I'll eat an apple for now.
Drink? Tap water.
Clothes? I have to work.

The moment he walked out of his house he felt the winds at his wings.

When I die. Will I become a breeze of wind? A bird? A ghost? A demon? A angel? A creature small enough to see though the grains of sand?

Questions like this hit him after dreams. He couldn't understand but, it was like his mind would clear up. His wings twitched as he took off calmly though the winds. The day was quite. Only sounds today we're the winds, people, and the sound of cars. No animals at all that day. The sun wasn't even out. It was a dull day. Clouds everywhere with a hint of rain in the wind.

When was the last time I was okay?
I always say I'm fine.
People always believe me.
They never question.
Is it because I'm a hero?
Is that why they believe me?
Heros.
Do I still count as one after what I've done.?
Of course I fucking don't.
I'm everything but, a hero.
Everyone thinks I'm a hero.
If I told them....what would they say?
I'm not a hero.
I'm a monster.

His thoughts went blank as he landed on an abandoned building. The rains began to pour down which meant today he was useless. He can fly in the rains yes but, he was slow. At the same time his feathers didn't work at all. Zztt... He looked down towards his phone picking it up.

1 message from THC

Your put off for today.

"Damn it!"He yelled throwing the phone towards the floor. "I do my job and, now I have to do this?!" He yelled to no one. "Fuck you! Fuck you all!"He yelled slamming his foot down on his phone. "I hate all of you!"He growled as he continued to slam his foot on the phone. After a couple minutes he came to his senses and, put on a mask to cover his anger. He looked down towards his phone seeing it was broken. Of course. He grabbed his phone and, slipped it into his pocket. Going silent as the winds and, rains around him got louder. The sounds we're louder then his thoughts as he went silent. "Shut up."He mumbled as the rains went harder. "Shut up.."He said clearly. "Shut up!!"He yelled into the building hearing the echo as the rains went silent for a brief moment before it came back. Why was he so angry?

Dabi? No
Parents? No
Commission? Maybe..
Friends? No
The people.
The ones I'd saved ever since I could remember. Was I mad at them? The people who called me a hero and, worship me basically. Maybe I was. After all this time. Maybe I am. But-

He stopped remembering all thing things they've done for him and, the things they'll do for him.

Stop stressing. Stress is bad for the baby. So stop.

He calmed himself down remembering his humanity. All the things that made him human. He began to walk down the stairs of the old building out onto the streets. Of course no one was there after a the rains had poured down. He quietly made his way home with his mind quite like his footsteps.
Why do I remember that voice
Why do the voices keep me awake at night.
Why do you do this to me.?
Aren't I a hero-
No.
You all have the right too.
I'm not a hero.
I'm a monster.

( Look I made a chapter yay. Uh yeah here take this while I work on the next chapter *slow clap* uh yeah. )

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