9.25.12
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When I look in the mirror I see beauty.
When people look at me do they see the same?
My mind is playing tricks on me, I call it the knowing game.
I don't know what they think because I can't see what they see.
And even though that's how it's supposed to be,
It begins to bother me.
Am I really that unique?
Chic?
Or a flat out geek?
Are my eyes deceiving me by telling me lies?
To which these words apply: my mind is playing tricks on me, I call it the knowing game.
How do I know what they see is the same.
Same as what I see
Which is endless beauty
Is my vision impaired because of what it seems?
It seems as if the ones who care tell lies to protect my ego.
Or are the ones who "tell lies" really the ones who tell the truth and don't have an in between.
In between is someone who chooses a side.
Who chooses to mutter lies.
And the hidden truths.
My mind's playing tricks on me, I call it the knowing game.
For those of you that don't know my pain-.. Or do you?
I wouldn't know, would I?
I also see a smart girl
Who could take on the whole wide world.
On a test you miss five instead of four so they tell you to hit the door.
Logic reasoning tells that's still a good score.
One under the requirement is no boo-hoo.
Until they start to laugh at you.
So you hide your shame and your score.
Wanting to become minuscule to the core.
Those who "tell lies" tell you you're beautiful and smart.
So all your life you say to yourself, "well this is a family. when do lies start?"
Needless to say, you want a brake from the lies and the truth.
A literal brake, a barrier from where lies end and truth begins.
They tell you you're smart but they tell you you're not.
Love & Care
v.s.
Truth & Statistics
Family & Friends
v.s.
Teachers & Critics
So who do you look to?
I look unto God.
But is that just a reassuring place in my conscience?
When knowing becomes overwhelming you begin to ponder these questions.
Is the truth really a lie and what are we really looking at? Beauty or..?
There's one thing just as confusing.
Everyone around me seems to like to play..
My mind's playing tricks on me, I call it the knowing game.
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Don't ever think too hard. :p
-Payton
