Collision Course: A HP-DW crossover (BOOK 2!)

Okay- What's going on here?

Hello, would you like a jelly baby? Either way, I hope you all enjoy this, because I sure as hell like writing it.

Doctor's POV

"Okay, okay, 3 points here, alright?" I looked around and sighed. All of my previous incarnations were here, even.. that one. Thankfully the Valeyard wasn't, though. To be honest I'm not sure where he would fit in anyway.

"1. Why are we all here, and why specifically America?

2. How are we all here without blowing a hole in time?

3. Who or what brought us here and what do they want with me?"

"Don't you mean us, young man?"
"Yes, yes, whatever. It's confusing, okay? Besides, ask 2, he's met the most Doctors even before this. 1, 3, 5 and 6? Come on, dude."

Now that all my other incarnations were here, I cancelled the glamour so I would be back to my normal face.

"Hey! I should have you know that most of those were entirely the Time Lord's fault."
I looked at him unimpressed.

"And anyway, why does that matter? Now we've all met each-other, up to apparently our 11th regeneration, and we have no explanations."
"Aye, and this shouldn't be possible, should it, eh, Doctor?"

"No, no it should not, Jamie!"

I glanced around at all the fans, staring at us with shock. Paparazzi were snapping pictures faster than I could blink.

"We'll decide in the Tardis," I told them, nodding my head to the massive crowds forming.

"Quite right, but the question is, who's?" My 7th incarnation spoke up.

This question alone somehow set off every one of me.

"Give it a few minutes and we'll have a riot on our hands," the Master snorted and he wasn't wrong.

The 2nd and 3rd Doctor were arguing while their companions rolled their eyes at them.

Of course, the 6th Doctor was insulting my poor 5th form.

"-absolutely ridiculous, far too bothered about pleasing the humans, you were completely a- a- a people pleaser! Like a performing puppy!"
Luckily, my 1st incarnation spotted them, and came to help his future self, who was just standing in the doorway of his Tardis looking rather sad and distraught.

"Peri, where has my umbrella go- ow!" He stumbled onto the floor when he was hit by his own umbrella in the back of the neck.

Peri laughed and shook hands with the 255 year old.

"Thank you, Doctor."
"Nonsense, girl, the man needs to be taught some respect!"

7 was leaning against his Tardis, observing their actions quietly, plotting and scheming as he often did.

The 8th Doctor and the 9th were in a heated argument, words like 'pretty boy' being thrown around like nothing.

Meanwhile the 'War' Doctor was back in his Tardis. Those of us who knew him refused to talk to him and the others didn't know who he was.

"Hello, Doctor, would you like a jelly baby?" Offered 4, holding up his bag.

"Ooh, yeah, go on then."
The Master and I took one each.

"Master, try and round them up, you're technically a neutral party."

"Ugh. Alright." He pulled himself out of his chair and jumped onto the desk.
"Oi, you lot!" A few Doctors turned to look at him but not all, "it's no use arguing you fools, you're here for a reason so if you dislike each other so much, find that reason and stop it so you don't have to interact!"