Liquid Silver

Twenty Six

TW: light mention of Suicide. If you think this chapter might upset you because of the content please please don't hesitate to message me directly and I would be more than happy to explain a brief summary of the chapter, avoiding any triggering content so that you can continue with the story!

It took Brett a few minutes to coax her off the ground, cleaning up her hands as she explained everything slowly and shakily with a dry voice.

He didn't make her go into detail, just held her hands gently and listened carefully to every word. When she stopped crying and had calmed down into a more exhausted kind of emotional state they moved back to the sitting room.

Her throat was sore from crying, and her eyes were red. She would probably still be shaking if she didn't feel so warm with his arms around her. NBA play-offs were on the television as a 'distraction' but neither one of them was paying attention. Brett was looking at her, his eye's trying to figure out what she was thinking, and his mind wishing so badly he could help.

She was staring blankly across the room with her head against his chest, too overwhelmed to even cry. See she had a put a few things together while her head rose and fell to the rhythm of Brett's breathing, barely noticing his hand rubbing her arm and tracing shapes on her skin tenderly.

Putting 'a few things together' shouldn't have been so groundbreaking but it made Jem realise that she had believed a complete lie for half her life. The first thing she realised was obvious. Her mother never had dementia, she had the same sickness Jem did. Only the more she thought about it, the more clear it was that their cases were not at all comparable.

Jem knew there was no way she could be 100% sure about anything, every single one of her life experiences had taught her that. But the sequence of events she had placed together had to be true, she was so certain about it. Her mother got sick about four or five months before she died. She suffered everyday, whether it was pain, or exhaustion, or just total confusion. They were told it was dementia. Their father believed that honestly. But now Jem knew different.

Her mother was the Valkyrie before she was. Most likely her grandmother before that as well, though Jem never knew her, and anyone before that too. Her mother was not driven mad by dementia, she was driven mad by the thing inside of her. Jem knew exactly how it felt. The constant pain and fear, the threat of losing it.

The second thing. Claudia didn't jump from the roof because she was 'distressed' or 'confused'. She jumped before she lost control. Jem's mother killed herself because she had deemed it the only way to stop the Valkyrie from expressing. Whether it was to protect the people she loved, or just to try and bring something awful out of the world, her mother had believed genuinely that her death would bring the end of the Valkyrie.

Jem squeezed her eyes shut, trying desperately not to imagine what her mother had gone through. No one ever understood why she was so desperately crazed and psychotic. Everyone always told Jem her momma was so strong and brave for carrying on for so long.

If her courage and strength lead to her madness and eventual suicide, then what exactly did Jem's future hold for her.

She knew right then she could never be as brave or strong as Claudia. She'd fought the Valkyrie until the end and the reason no one ever knew about it, not even her father was, because she had somehow suppressed it, something Jem had already failed to do. Twice. That would have taken strength.

As for courage? Her mother sacrificed herself for Jem's sake, she understood that now. Her mother had believed honestly that her death would mean the death of the Valkyrie. She thought she was protecting Jem from ever having to experience the same pain and suffering.