Hidden Feelings - A Draco Malfoy Love Story

Chapter Fifty-Three

I say bye to my friends with a bit of panic as I see Mom for the first time since nearly the beginning of summer. She wrote to me just a week before telling me to come home for winter break, and although she already knew about my plans to stay with the Weasleys again, she wouldn't let me get out of staying with her. I wonder if Dad is staying there, too, or if the death eaters are being confined to certain places at this point.

I feel unbearable guilt when I don't speak to her exiting the station. I want so badly to believe that Draco isn't a death eater, but my mind is switching back and forth rapidly on the "what ifs" that go with the case of him really being a follower of Voldemort. I hate that if Draco really could promise his commitment, and admit to me why he was hesitant, I'd really want to stay with him. I don't think I could say no. But being in love with a death eater...

It's all I've been thinking about since I started to worry about this.

"I'm sorry," Mom whispers out of nowhere, a good portion into our car ride home. I glance over at her, and see her lips slightly pursed, her eyes blinking rapidly as if she's trying not to cry. "I'm sorry we did this to you."

My heart aches as I turn back forward. I'm such an awful person.

I can't even deny that I want to continue loving Draco.

"I had to make the unbreakable vow to avoid telling him about anything I learned in the Order," she continues. "I'm sure he's done the same. I wish I could tell you more about how things are with him."

"Mom, was he forced?" I ask softly. I worry that I truly did misjudge his panicked explanation at the ministry, and also begin to wonder if Draco did this willingly or not.

"Once a death eater, there's not much to do to escape it," she explains, sighing a little. "He may have been in it by choice the first time, and while I don't know much, I know that they tracked him down a couple years ago and...encouraged him to come back."

I turn to her, taking a shaky breath. "Is he home?"

"Sometimes. He stays at the Malfoy Manor, for the most part," she says. I look away again, closing my eyes. He'll know about Draco.

An urge to spill everything falls over me like a crumbling brick wall. I dig my fingernails into my palm, and take another breath.

"I'm sorry for getting so mad about you and Dad," I whisper. "I should have tried to understand. I'm still trying, but..."

I fall silent. She glances over at me very quickly.

"What is it, Elizabeth?" she murmurs. "What's wrong?"

We pull into the driveway. I stay quiet, my heart pounding as I jump from the car and grab my trunk from the back. Mom watches me carefully, her lips parted like she wants to say something and her eyebrows furrowed in motherly concern. I move quickly toward our porch, turning around at the last second.

"Is he in there?" I ask quietly. She shakes her head, letting out a breath.

"What's wrong?" she repeats, moving past me to unlock the door. I follow her inside, biting my lip.

Just do it.

"Elizabeth, you're scaring me," she tells me as I storm through the living room and drop my trunk by the stairs. I hold onto the railing for a moment, squeezing my eyes shut. I hear her footsteps coming toward me and I spin around at the last second, standing face to face with my mother.

"I think I'm in love with a death eater," I blurt out.

Draco's POV

It takes all of the strength I have inside of me to stay calm when my dad introduces me to Elizabeth's father.