Hidden Feelings - A Draco Malfoy Love Story

Chapter Thirty-Six

"Elizabeth?"

"Hm?" I look up from my notebook, shutting it when I see Hermione coming to sit next to me on my bed.

"Are you alright? You've been awfully quiet since you've gotten here," she says, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired." It's not far from the truth, given the fact that I barely slept once Malfoy left. At first I was sad, but by now, I'm angry; at him for not even trying (making me question if he really does like me), at myself for thinking trying is a good idea in the first place. I'd lose all my friends, no doubt. I couldn't do that, and even if I do have a soft spot for Malfoy, I would never do that for him.

"What do you think about the Order?"

Yet another reason I've been quiet. If my father finds out I know about this...that I've stayed in this organization's base for practically half the summer...I don't know what would happen, but if he is really back with the death eaters, it wouldn't be good.

"It's amazing," I respond, and I mean it. "I just wish we could do more to help out."

I should be happy that he betrayed them. Why am I so sure he's still evil?

"Me too."

"Are you sure we can't tell Harry?" I sigh. "We've been writing letters back and forth. I feel bad that he won't be getting a response, next time he writes."

"We can't go against Dumbledore's wishes, Elizabeth." She sits up and looks at me, a small smile on her face. "You know I want to, as well."

"I know."

"Do you use that as a diary?" she asks, tapping the cover of my notebook. It's the one she got me in third year, charmed to only be read by me. I nod with a tiny laugh.

"I know you're probably about to ask why I still close it whenever someone walks in," I joke, and she giggles.

"Spot on. I promise you, no one else can read a word. Only your name in the front." She opens her hand, and I tentatively place the book in her palm. She flips to the first page, and suddenly, the words are all gone. "See? It won't even show them to you if you're not the one holding it."

"People can't read over my shoulder, though?"

"Nope. Flip to your most embarrassing page. I can guarantee I'm not an actress, so show it to me and you'll know if I can see it." She hands it back, and I find my face grow warm. I know what my most embarrassing page is, but it could easily be as dangerous as it is humiliating. I trust Hermione, though, and I know if anyone were to give me a poorly enchanted book, it wouldn't be her.

I open the book to the night after the third task. I couldn't even focus on the kiss, the actual night of, because of what else happened. I saved that for when everything sunk in and I was stable enough to at least attempt to work out my feelings.

I know my face is red as I catch a few of the words. I was so stupid, I think as I turn the book for Hermione to see. True to her word, she shakes her head.

"By the look on your face, I'm very curious as to what you're showing me," she says, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Nothing much," I say, pulling it back and shutting it. "Just one of those days you think back to something embarrassing you did as a child, and can't sleep because of it." That's how I feel about kissing Draco, now.

She laughs. "I get that."

"Kids! Dinner!" Mrs. Weasley calls from downstairs, and we stand up, making our way downstairs. From the sound of all the voices downstairs, the house is already packed, and the hoard of teenagers about to invade from upstairs certainly won't help.