detention | lrh

12. Let's Be Friends

"No Luke. I won't do this again" I got up wiping the tears once more and walked towards the door but I really didn't want to get in, I knew I would feel trapped and I really didn't need that. I felt Luke walking behind me and so I turned around facing him and then back towards my backyard and started walking faster. " What the hell do you want! Why are you even here!" I told him angry still walking. I noticed I had his sweatshirt in my hand so when I got to the backyard I harshly threw it in a chair. The lights from the pool were on and so were the ones outside.

"I wanted to apologise but now I see you need help" he replied confidently and I rolled my us turning around to face him. He was only a few feet away.

"Why apologise? Why, huh? You are going to do the same thing over and over again" I started talking steps back because he was walking forward.

"Well is because I can't trust you!" He yelled and I was shocked.

Wha-

"I can't trust you Kylie, I have those problems, I can't be too close to someone because somehow I always screw up, okay?" He was actually calm about it but I kept walking back.

"Well I don't like trusting either , but I thought you were different! I thought that maybe because we were both a mess we could be good for each other and be friends bu-"

I could finish the sentence.
I freaking fell into the pool.
I swam as fast as possible to the surface and to a place where I could stand.
I was really embarrassed but lucky enough, Luke didn't laugh.

"Are...are you okay?" For the first time he seemed shy. He didn't know what to say so he walked to the edge of the pool, but he was also so lucky that he tripped on the water I splashed when I fell that he also got into the pool for accident.
And I wasn't going to miss the chance to laugh a bit.

When he swam to the surface his hair was obviously wet and the way he run his fingers through it...

No Kylie, no!!

But his shirt was also soaked and really showed his body because it was attached and oh gosh...

Something was definitely wrong with me.

He smiled and we stared at each other and I really can't explain what my emotions were in those seconds. I had mixed feelings, I was still sad and kind of broken, I felt angry but also there was a bit of happiness in me. And somehow I realized it was because Luke was there.

"I'm sorry, really. I should have noticed that you weren't okay and that maybe what happened that night and then Calum was hard for you. And maybe... maybe I'll start to loosen up but I can't promise anything." He was actually trying and that made me feel less awful.

But it was time for a reality check for me.

I knew that forgiving him for everything was a step back but good for him cause he was trying to change.

I also knew that being like I was when I was with him wasn't normal.

And the most scary thing I realized is that I was having thoughts that were not only friendly and I would eventually have to face.

Opening up was scary for both of us, we were both so messed up we weren't thinking about the consequences.

Seeing Luke that night really helped me but didn't make all negative points in my life disappear. Alex came back and he couldn't or wouldn't go away, he had to keep screwing me over for his pleasure and I wasn't sure I knew how to deal with it.

"I... I found a hoodie of him in my wardrobe" I confessed to Luke and he pitied me, it was so obvious.

"I understand. He really broke you Kylie and that won't go away. He hurt me too, remember?"