Secrets || H.HJ [FINISHED]

이십 구~ 29

Why is my head hurting so much? And why is it so dark around me?

I try to move but cannot. What's happening?

I'm about to panic when I hear indescribable sounds. The more seconds passes the more these noises becomes clearer. I can hear people talking yet can't understand what they say.

With an ultimate effort I try to open my eyes, and that's what I do before closing them immediately, blinded by the excessive light. Opening them little by little again, all I can see is a white ceiling.

Where am I? What's going on?

Then I remember.

Hyunjin.

His pale figure when he was on the ground.

The heart that wasn't beating.

Mine beats like crazy as I remember everything.

Me: Hyunjin!!

I get up fast as I was lying on a bed but feel a huge headache. Someone takes my shoulders and makes me lean back gently.

? : Calm down Haneul you just woke up.

I look at the person in front of me and that makes me tear up.

Me: F...Felix?

He gives me a little smile but I can't help and takes him in my arms. He gives me back my hug, while patting on my head.

Felix: It's okay I'm here now. I've missed you too little Haneul. It was kind of you for the letter.

Behind him was Seungmin giving me a sweet smile. I then watch my two friends faces before asking what I was so afraid of.

Me: Where.... where is Hyunjin?

They exchange a look that does not bode well for me. Felix decides to be the one talking.

Felix: Well...Haneul... he's in the urgent block, waiting to go in the operation room right now. His heart stopped and if you didn't help he might have...well...you know. But... his state isn't good at all so there might be some..complications during the operation.

First thing that I feel is relief. 

His heart has stopped so I called the ambulance and they asked me to do first aid which I tried to despite my shaking hands and heavy breath. In no time they were here, taking charge of it. What happened after is... just blank in my head.

As if he just had read my mind, Felix answer to my unasked question.

Felix: After the ambulance came you fell unconscious because of high pressure caused by too much stress ( AN: I don't even know if this is possible lmao) The doctor found me in your contacts and called me so I came with Seungmin who was already with me.

I try to give him a smile but fail.

I was so afraid.

I knew this was maybe going to happen soon or later he had to do the operation.

I tried to be prepared.

But he has taken a too much big ( I know I can't say that but that's literally the feeling XD) place in my heart.

And even if I hate the thought of it...

There is chances he won't.... he might not.... be by my side later on.

I can't even imagine it.

Someone knocks on the door before coming in. Minho oppa. Seeing him with a serene face gives me some calm.

Minho: Hey how are you now?

Me: Good I guess....

Minho: Stop giving me this zombie look huh? He needs your support right now not you getting sick because of it. Here... we found this in his bag and it has your name on it so had to give it to you.

I can't help but feel tears coming up as I take the letter. He gives me a little smile and pats my head before going out, followed by Felix and Seungmin who understood I needed some space.

I watch it a bit, afraid of opening it. I do after taking a deep inhalation.

Even the not exceptional first words makes me cry.

Hi Haneul,

It's so weird to write to you when we were together just a while ago... this ain't easy at all hehe. I guess I'm a really egoist person right? Even if I know there's lot of chances I won't survive, I make people stay by my side to make them suffer. But... I couldn't help but stop you when I first saw you. I could see how much you were broke and just couldn't leave you like that... I'm sorry.

And I'm thankful.

Because of you, I wanted to fight back with my weak heart. I wanted to spend lot of time with you, even eternity would be nothing compared to it. And it might sound cheesy, but I really mean it.

So if whatever happens to me be sure to find someone who will love you a lot. I will really be sad if I see you deprive yourself from seeing guys just because of me okay?

But don't worry because I'll fight no matter what and hopefully come back to you with a new full heart to love you.

Because that's my true feeling toward you.

I love you.

As I cry the only thing that I can do is cry. 

Cry and pray.

I trust you Hyunjin. You're a strong fighter.

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HEY IM BACK SORRYYYYYY BUT I HAD NO TIME...

Also I had an idea but I'm not sure...

About a ff about Felix's point of view in this story and how he stopped loving Haneul.

Would u like it?

The end is coming soon~~