Love, par sex ke baad (Love, but after sex)

Chapter 2

I leaned against the kitchen table, grasping the sides, and rested my forehead against the cold granite. I didn't know what I had been thinking of when I decided to make dinner for him. My stupid brain had been probably hoping for a romantic dinner, which in hindsight, was laughable. This is not a fairytale where beauty dines with the beast, and then the two dance together. This is real life, and I am married to the beast. We hadn't said two words to each other since we had gotten married except for when he violated and used my body. I pressed my thighs together at the thought of his touch. I could still feel his fingers on my pussy, and a shiver ran up my spine at the thought of him inside me. He had spanked me, whipped me, humiliated me, used his hands, mouth, and fingers on me, and made me suck his cock, yet he hadn't fucked me. I wondered if he wanted me to beg him to fuck me or did he think I wasn't good enough to be fucked by him. Both thoughts bothered me.

I pushed myself away from the table and made my way to the stove. I no longer felt like eating the chicken marsala I had made with such enthusiasm, but I knew I would get terribly hungry if I didn't eat now. I jumped back from the stove when I heard a cabinet open behind me and turned around to see Salil. "I didn't mean to scare you," Salil said, "Just setting up plates for dinner." So, I guess he wanted to eat with me. I bit back a smile, and I moved back to heat the food while Salil laid the table. I wanted to say something intelligent, but I felt brain dead at that moment. "Wine?" he asked. "Sure," I replied. "What kind do you like?" he asked. I blushed. I only like sweet drinks, and I absolutely detest red wine. I racked my brain to think of a mature option in comparison to Moscato. "Chardonnay, okay?" he asked. "Sure," I replied. I kicked my brain – sure? Again? I could have said okay, yes, why not, ANYTHING! Now he is going to think I only knew one word. Oh well, at least his question had saved me the embarrassment of asking for Moscato.

I served dinner and sat down opposite him. We ate in silence. I wanted to ask him if he liked the food, but I didn't want to fish for compliments. Moreover, even when the food is dreadful, who the hell says it anyway? I had a feeling he would. The silence between us lay thick. I wanted to knock over my wine glass just to hear something other than our chewing noises. Just as I was thinking of an innocent way to break this expensive glass, he asked, "More wine?" "Yes, please," I replied. My voice sounded hoarse from the lack of use. He crocked an eyebrow but poured it nonetheless. "It's nice to know you can cook," he said. I looked up at him and smiled. To my surprise, he was smiling at me. It wasn't the usual crocked grin but a genuine sexy smile. I blushed and looked down at my food again. "What else do you like to do?" he asked. I guess he was feeling the oppressive silence as well and wanted to make small talk. I shrugged, "I like to watch movies. What about you?". "What sort of movies do you like?" he asked, ignoring my question. I suddenly felt annoyed at his lack of acknowledgment for my question, "the good sort," I said a little tartly. He chuckled. It was a low rumbling sound I felt in the pit of my stomach. I had heard it 3 weeks ago on our wedding day as well. I liked that sound; it made me smile.

"So, do you want to watch one with me tonight?" he asked and sipped his wine. I was about to put a fork full of chicken in my mouth when I looked up at him, shocked at the question. I quickly shoved the chicken in my mouth to give me time to think, and he smirked knowingly. He didn't say anything but just watched me as I slowly chewed my chicken. I knew at the back of my head that no was not an option. However, I also knew what "watching a movie" meant to most guys. It was an opportunity for them to make out and feel the girl. My ex-boyfriend loved to "watch movies" with me. I found it annoying because I generally actually wanted to watch the movie. I decided that since I couldn't say no, we could just watch a movie I had already seen so that I didn't feel the urge to push him away should he try something. I swallowed the chicken, smiled, and said, "sounds like a plan."