Blue Jay #Wattys2016

DISCOVERY

I sat on the floor, in the foyer of Marc’s house. I believe my chest was on fire. Yup. Definitely on fire, or at least my heart was. It was burning right through my skin, and not in a romantic way. In a hateful, regretful, sinful way. I hated God for doing this. I regretted not saying bye to Kyle, to my dad. I also regretted not telling him where I was. I felt like a sinner because I hadn’t been with him when he died. I wanted to just be with him at the moment he died, and I wanted to be with him right now.

   Andrew was still standing outside the doorway. Marc said something to him, and he walked over beside me and squatted down to sit next to me. That’s when I realized I wasn’t crying. I was just sitting there, holding my knees together, staring blankly ahead. Andrew put his arm over my shoulders. I still didn’t move, that is until he started rubbing my arm. I placed my head on his shoulder, burying myself into his shirt.

   “You’re both welcome to stay for supper.” Marc said “Actually,” he continued “Cynthia took the kids to see Alexis and grandma, you can stay here tonight… drive back tomorrow.”

   I nodded.

  “Thank you.” Andrew murmured. I noticed something while clinging to Andrew. He’s cold. Like ice cold. He feels like a glacier. I heard noises coming from the kitchen, so I stood up and told Andrew to watch TV in the living room while I go help Marc make supper.

   I walked into the kitchen and was engulfed in a beautiful aroma of herbs and spices. I had forgotten that Marc was the chef in the house, not Cynthia. He didn’t need my help at all, I still needed to talk to him though.

   “Hey.” he said when he saw me, his voice breaking, I nodded in return “So, who’s he? Where’s Blake?” he asked pulling out a chicken from the oven.

   “That’s Andrew.” I answered “Me and Blake kind of, had a fight.” That’s a better answer than “He flipped out, so we left the province.”

   “So this Andrew guy, he your new boyfriend or something?”

   I gasped “No, I don’t know… I don’t think so.” he did force me to leave my home, maybe he does actually like me, but I wouldn’t call him my boyfriend.

   “You sound unsure of yourself.” he said, all high and mighty, with tears still prickled in his eyes.

   “It’s just… I don’t know what we are. We’re so close and yet we only just met about a couple weeks ago. I’m legitimately really confused.”

   He shook his head and called Andrew for supper. Then he whispered to me “Life is going to be confusing. It’s what you choose to do with the confusion and heartache that make you, well, you.”

   My eyes widened. I had no idea my brother had a heart that strong. Strong enough to say something inspiring when in times of sorrow and, as he put it, heartache. That was probably the nicest thing he has ever said to me.

   I sat down next to Andrew and across from Marc. There were peas, chicken, rice, potatoes, baby carrots, and asparagus. I had some of everything, so did Marc. Andrew however only had a little bit of chicken. I hate in silence, they had some small talk.

   “Aren’t you going to have anything else to eat?” Marc asked curiously.

   Andrew shook his head “Tight diet.” he ate some chicken off his fork.

   “Oh really? One that you’re only allowed to eat chicken?” Marc speculated. I listened closer to the conversation then.

   “Yes.” Andrew chuckled, he showed his perfect teeth as he spoke “I’m allowed to eat any poultry… and some other meats.”