Killer In The Mirror [Black Butler]

Chapt. 40

I woke up in the guest bedroom of Ciel's townhouse. I remember killing Baron Kelvin and Joker after what they had done to me, then I cried myself to sleep as Ciel held me. 

I don't feel bad for killing them. But I am angry at the fact there was never justice for me to begin with. All the killing I've done was for nothing. Ciel was right... I'm no better than they are... 

"You're finally awake, Janie. Took you long enough." I look across the room to see James sitting in a chair near the window. It was still the middle of the night, but close to morning. "You've been asleep for hours. I was worried about you." He walks over to me and sits on the bed. "How are you feeling?" 

"Fine..." I frown and look down at my lap. "Jamie... There's something I need to tell you..." I clench the blankets. 

"That you're suffering from a disorder and you've killed your previous master's so they can suffer the same way you did? Then you went homicidal and killed the man who nearly killed you and chopped off an arm of the man who took you away?" 

"Huh!? How did you know about all of that!?" I gasp with shock. 

"Ciel told me when you guys returned. Sebastian was carrying you when you guys walked into house and took you to your room to sleep since Ciel told me you cried yourself to sleep. Then Ciel told me what had happened and what's been going on with you." 

"O-Oh..." I lowered my head and frowned again. 

"Were you afraid to tell me all of this, Janie?" 

"Yes..." I nod my head. "At first, I thought it was all a dream and I was imagining it. Me killing all of my masters... But when I came to realize that it was all my doing, Ciel hired a doctor to come check on me and gave me medication. I took those pills and everything had stopped, but the urge to kill was still there... I didn't want to tell you this because I didn't want you to be afraid of me or think I was some crazy girl going around killing... I'm sorry for not telling you, Jamie..." 

"I thought as much, and I'm not surprised." James sighs and I look up at him. "Considering what you've been through, and when it all started when you were a child, who wouldn't go berserk after something like that? Janie, you were brought into a good home and right on the spot you were so use to what those bastards did to us in the black market. Those actions - what they did to us stuck by you. So I'm not mad and I don't think less of you or think of you as a crazy person." 

"You don't?..." 

"No. In fact, I think those bastards got what they deserved. But just remember that you have a new life and the past is the past. Even if it haunts you and sticks by you, remember that you have people who make you smile everyday." 

"People who make me smile?" I blink with confusion. 

"Yeah. Ciel, Sebastian, and the servants. And, of course, me." James smiles and wraps his arms around me, hugging me close. "I'm just glad you're okay." 

There was a knock at the bedroom door to reveal Sebastian with a plate of food. "Ah, I see you're finally awake, Milady. I'm so glad." Sebastian smiles at me.