Someday,maybe...again ( eruri )

Take it or leave it

Sorry guys! There are just sooo many fics to read and i couldn't seem to find the time to write :o

<<< levi pov >>>

I can't keep my eyes from chasing him. I hate myself for still caring... But whenever my eyes catch a flash of blond hair, a glimpse of blue... My head automatically snaps in it's direction and my heart clenches. It clenches even more when, sometimes I catch the ice blue orbs looking back.

I shake my head, trying to drive the thought away. Erwin couldn't possibly look my way, with this sort of intense glance, this ...longing. Not now. Not like this... 

But the more I look at him from afar, the more I notice him looking my way.
Looking, staring... His stare is like an itch begging me to scratch it. And each time I find myself fighting the need to look, to check, to know whether or not he's looking whenever I feel the constant stare following me, probing me. Maybe he wants to be sure I'm okay. Still, I need to look.

And whenever I give in, the bastard doesn't even flinch. He holds my gaze and just keeps looking straight in my eyes. He doesn't say anything, doesn't nod in salutation, doesn't smile, doesn't smirk. Nothing He just keeps fixing me with his most intense stare. totally serious eyes, burning with a determination I simply can't understand, eyebrows furrowed and all.

I don't understand and it's driving me insane. He doesn't act like i'm the lover he just broke up with. He's acting like I'm the embodiment of a temptation he can't succumb to. But it makes no sense. Well fuck, whenever it happens I get pissed off and then break the eye contact cursing him to hell and back.

When we cross paths though- which happens quite frequently since we live in the same building- he acts like the total gentleman he's always been. Casual chit-chats, casual looks, casual exchanges of nothings. There are no insistent stares whatsoever, he acts like we're just neighbors exchanging pleasantries. Our eyes just meet by coincidence before he nods and fill the awkward silence with talk about the weather. He does not stare. Not the loving way he did. And not the intense way he does now from afar. I swear the man is fucking bipolar!  Of course being a gentleman is second nature to him. So our break-up wouldn't make him act all rude around me. But sometimes... I don't know what happens but he reverts back to being "my Erwin": Acting all sweet and caring, even giving me loving glances, chuckling while looking at me tenderly and letting out that throaty laugh of his... some others, he acts all indifferent-it's like he takes it upon himself to make me feel rebuked and unwanted. And then, some other times- and those hurt the most- he starts putting distance between us: both physically- he doesn't even let our arms brush- and emotionally. He looks at me with empty eyes, doesn't respond, or just nods when I get angry and all frustrated. Cos Fuck if there's anything I hate, it would be people acting all high and mighty - which would get them a knee in the crotch- or them ignoring me- If I'm talking to you then I have a point to make. So when I do,I demand some attention and a fucking REACTION!!!

Today, Erwin is acting like his 3rd self. Which has me mumbling curses at him as I wait for the "ping" signalling the elevator reaching our floor. Yes we live on the same floor.

I already said "hi" earlier, and only got a small nod from him. I'm not trying any further though. Not today...

I may still fucking want him, but he doesn't. End of story... He told me very clearly. Of course him not explaining and us still living on the same floor wouldn't normally be called a clean break, but fuck if I care.

"Ping"

Thank fuck!

I get out of the elevator as soon as I can and head towards my loft. What stops me though is hearing Erwin's grunt of pain... Fuck ! If he couldn't carry his groceries why not just fucking ask for help?
Huh! Of course! His fucking pride wouldn't let him. I can feel my eyes hitting my fucking brain with how far back they roll. I press the hold button, get inside the elevator and take half the bags. I wouldn't mind taking all of them but knowing Erwin, he would. 

I head towards his loft, lean on the wall and wait for him to put his bags on the floor, get his keys from his pocket, open the door and take the bags inside, I know my way in there, so I just go in after him and walk my way to the kitchen, put them on the table and turn back. On my way outside, I catch Erwin looking at me. No. Through me. Still Erwin 3 huh ? Whatever.

As I walk pass him I can't help saying:

-"Could have at least fucking said thank you, Bastard!"

I immediately get yanked back, my back slams against the wall and my lips get tackled by... His?  The fucker's kissing me! As much as I would want to melt  right into his kiss, I grab his hair and pull him away from me. He has no fucking right to treat me this way!

-" What the fuck?"

I say as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. He seems to snap out of whatever had him forcing his kiss on me as his eyes turn into icy waters again.

-"Sorry, that won't happen again."

-"I don't care if it's gonna happen again! Fuck! I want it to happen again!!! But that's not the issue here!"

-"Levi, I'm sorry. I promise I won't do it again. I didn't even mean to..."

He's now looking away from me... Ok, something's going on... Erwin never and I mean NEVER looks away from anything. He's not planning on explaining anything either...

The silence drags on...

-"Look, you know me. I won't beg you to take me back or some ridiculous shit. So this is how things are gonna be ... It's either you take it or leave it! Take us back or leave for good! Don't linger around Giving me those looks one day, ignoring me the following one, and acting like I'm a pest later on. I'm not your toy, and I'm not looking for for a hook-up call from and I'm not waiting for fucking forever for you to make up your mind. Just go away or stay for good! I'm sick and tired of your indecisiveness! Make up your fucking mind already!!!"

-"Levi... "

-"Don't! Just... You have 3 days... If you don't come up with your answer by then... I won't care anymore."
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End of chapter 3.

Hope you guys liked it ^^

'm planning on continuing this story till the end and as soon as possible. But as I went to read the earlier chapters to get back into the swing of things I really could not keep going without editing them. I've grown as a person and if I want to continue this in the best way I need to change the way i wrote the first few chapters.

Nothing will be changed plot-wise: The only thing that's being altered is how it's written it would still mean the world to me if you'd re-read them as I go edit them. It's ok if you don't ofc