Someday,maybe...again ( eruri )

Bolo-tie

<<< levi pov >>>

If you asked me yesterday what I thought I'd be feeling by now, I'd tell you serenity. Serenity at finally knowing and putting it all behind.

Of course, now that I know, I wish I hadn't asked...

I had thought hitting Erwin would make me calmer, but now I feel like I need to pin someone and just go all out on them. Hit them, kick them, till I'd no longer be able to feel my muscles, and they would no longer be able to feel their own bones, somehow maybe that will let all this anger and frustration seep out of me.

The thing is I don't even wish for that person to be Erwin.

I no longer want to see him. I'm content just driving the thought of that man out of my head, out of my life.

But I have all these boiling feeling sin me, that I really need to find an outlet for. Anything.

Anyone...

I don't do this often, actually I never do this, but I need a drink. No. Drinks. As in I need to get drunk.

*********

This bar is my haven. MY place, my refuge. Everyone here knows me. So they make sure not to look my way, talk to me, or God forbid bump into me when I appear to be in a bad mood. So now that it's obvious I shouldn't be approached by anyone no matter what, I can drink however much I want. Nobody cares, nobody questions me, nobody asks unwanted questions. I can just revel in the wonderful mix that is good music and alcohol relaxing my nerves...

The usual dark-haired giant comes my way, takes the empty glass and swipes the counter with a damp tissue - he knows I like it to be as clean and as shiny as possible. I don't look at him so he clears his throat and asks me, still as seemingly scared as the first time I came here.

"- A..Anything else? "

I look up. It's not enough so I have to tilt my head back to finally see his face, fucking giant.

-"Do you need to be a fucking titan to work here?"

He flinches. The kid is already terrified, and by that I mean sweating buckets, and I would really like him to keep the drinks coming - and the air clean- so no matter how unreasonably irritated I am feeling, I add making sure to get the bile out of my voice:

-"Another beer would be good."

He nods and walks away. I sit there waiting for my beer and my eyes roam around...

Fuck! Shit! No fucking way!

I turn around completely when my eyes catch the sight of a blond head. Fuck! The instant I say I've had enough of his face. Why am I even looking? My hands clench, and my mind races I quickly look away and I try to come up with ways to pretend I didn't notice him. I can see a blur of black and white and the tension leaves my body as I recognize who I just saw. I feel silly. Of course fucking Reiner is here. He works here for fuck's sake! Oh! He's coming here...

He sees me. Nods and circumvents the U-shaped counter to get to his boyfriend. I see him silently approaching his spaced out lover from behind and finally wrapping his arms around the other man's waist, who lets out a yelp and just about manages to catch the glass he was filling -which I suppose is mine- before it crashes against the small table Behind the bar. Reiner snickers and starts kissing the nape of his boyfriend's neck, Bertholt titls his head denuding more of his tan skin, giving access full access to his boyfriend that does not hesitate even one second to rain kisses in a trail going from the base of his neck to just behind his ears.
Moans start leaving his mouth and I see Reiner flicking his tongue before his boyfriend turns around to completely suck the muscle down his throat. I stop looking as their kiss turns more and more heated... Judging by the sounds they're making.