Someday,maybe...again ( eruri )

Yet another morning

This chapter may contain spoilers for those of you who have not read up till chap 49 of the manga ... or watched the second season of Shingeki no Kyojin. just saying... 

i'm planning on continuing this story till the end and as soon as possible. But as I went to read the earlier chapters to get back into the swing of things I really could not keep going without editing them. I've grown as a person and if I want to continue this in the best way I need to change the way i wrote the first few chapters.

Nothing will be changed plot-wise: The only thing that's being altered is how it's written it would still mean the world to me if you'd re-read them as I go edit them. It's ok if you don't ofc 

<<< levi pov >>>

I wake up smothered by "his" arms wrapped around me. Of course, this is nothing new, waking up, no, sleeping like this has been thoroughly ingrained in me. I can't even maintain a straight face while pretending I don't like it now. It still surprises me that I would accept and return the gesture of affection even in this searing heat. His limbs tangled with mine and his feathery-light hair on my forehead, I feel his  usual morning laziness seeping into my bones. And morning routines be damned I reach out my hand to grab his arm. My hand ends up just cruising the air and I feel so stupid for having temporarily forgotten his right arm was no longer attached to his shoulder. Fuck. I hope he's really asleep and has not noticed. I know he pretends not to care but I can see that he sometimes feels diminished by the loss of his arm ... Not like I give a shit about that kind of thing. We're way past that point. And judging him and thinking him weaker has been the downfall of many. I snicker at the contrast between what he's capable of doing and the aloof attitude and puppy-eyed look he often adopts at home. 

Anyways, nuzzle the crook of his neck, engulfing myself in his warmth...I don't even need to see him to make sure he's by my side, I just feel him ... Smell him. I kiss his silky skin and slide down so I can rest my face on his chest. It is awfully sappy and cheesy but fuck it, it feels so incredibly good to just rest my forehead against his tender,soft ...chest? Wait ... His skin sure feels like velvet but if there's one word that encompasses  his chest it would be muscled... Hard.

I open my eyes in a frenzy... Look for him and only see my hands clamping on the soft white sheets... My eyes water up, my stomach sinks and my throat tightens as it all sinks in...
What I thought was his warmth was nothing but the sheets burning up from the morning sun-rays... What I thought was his hair was in fact my pillow ... What I mistook for his chest was ... "His" pillow ....

Fuck! So it wasn't just a bad dream, he really had left. Took everything and just left. My hands instantly release the sheets, and I leave the bedroom. Even after I promised myself to sleep on the couch for a few days I still keep fucking coming back here.!M is just too much!!! This keeps happening every morning and it's grating on my nerves that I still fucking can't bring myself to even fucking imagining him beside me.

 At this point, i need to do something, anything. And maybe he'll come back... No! Not fucking come back... Explain... Yea explain. I had thought we would stick together... That we were set. No. He made fucking sure I'd think that.

Fucking bastard.
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... End of chap 1 ....

So this is s really short chap the next ones a little bit longer though so hang in there  ;) 

I'm  planning on continuing this story till the end and as soon as possible. But as I went to read the earlier chapters to get back into the swing of things I really could not keep going without editing them. I've grown as a person and if I want to continue this in the best way I need to change the way i wrote the first few chapters.

Nothing will be changed plot-wise: The only thing that's being altered is how it's written it would still mean the world to me if you'd re-read them as I go edit them. It's ok if you don't ofc