Rammstein

Realization

I texted Madison that I'd be going to which she replied with 'See the Linkin Park line worked Lol :p' I mentally rolled my eyes and looked through my closet, I found my huge black suitcase with my initials monogrammed onto it and began searching through my closet, I knew it was still a while a way but I couldn't help but pack what I wouldn't need until then.

Things were looking up greatly, though I knew this put my mother and father in a rough patch right now I'm ecstatic! There was a small knock on the door "come in!" I yelled in a sing song voice, the door opened to reveal my dad "hey ave." I looked up form my suitcase "hey! I'm just packing what I won't need till then" he smiled "excited?" I nodded frantically "well slow down, your mom and I have been talking and you're an adult now.." Where's this going? "We remember you talking about Germany since you were sixteen and found that rain signs band?" I mentally rolled my eyes "Rammstein..." Dad nodded "right. well, this is your chance to see where you'd like to...live" what!? I never said anything about moving! "Umm..hold on, I'm going on a class trip not moving!" He smiled "yeah but if you like it there, well you could have a better future.." I'm glad he's being supportive but...I don't think I could ever permanently leave America..could I?

I put that thought away as I went downstairs with dad to eat dinner, it was an awkward encounter, with my mom scowling at dad the whole time then looking to me as if saying 'don't leave me baby girl' I honestly felt bad but what was done was done. Dad was going on as if nothing had happened and I was thankful for that. Finally the awkward silence was broken by my mom "we want you to stay in Germany for as long as you'd like, come back when you're ready too. We don't want to rush you. I've already informed the school and your permission slips in the living room. But if you decide to stay there longer, we won't keep funding you. You'll have to get a job and a permanent living arrangement because you'll be staying with your grandma, but she's hardly ever home. You have all summer to decide okay?" My head was swimming "umm...I just wanted to go on a class trip, why do I have to stay?" I asked "you don't have to, it's up to you but this is us giving you that option to maybe go to school there, then come back or..stay, I mean you're eighteen you can decide for yourself and you said something about learning about german culture and your grandmother is german" I nodded still in shock but decided to let it go for now.

After dinner I went back upstairs with the permission slip and put it in my backpack so I wouldn't forget it. Tomorrow would be nice, I'd probably be the only one there that has a note attached saying I don't have to come back if I don't want to. This was all foreign to me so I honestly didn't know what to do next...it was still a while away but I just laid in bed wide awake with my head going over scenarios that could play out whilst there, I could bump into Till Lindemann and he just starts making out with me... Now the more realistic scenario is i get lost or mugged while there... Even though I was psyching myself out I couldn't imagine my parents just being okay with me moving out of the country...not like that..I mean it's been one day and their on board with just sending me off, with good reasons yes but still... It plagued my brain until I literally forced myself to sleep since I had school tomorrow.