catch me | yoongi

twenty-five

your next show comes and goes in gwangju, and the choreography changes a bit like last time. yoongi is there to watch you, of course, and hoseok just stops charging him because he'll keep coming back. you wanted the peace to last, but the truth would come out soon enough.

"y/n, you have to tell him." jimin looks at you as you wipe off your makeup, and you sigh. "it's just going to get ugly if you don't."

you nod. "i know.."

this was officially your last show in south korea. you were leaving for the states tomorrow and traveling for three years. you know you needed to tell yoongi, but it was a hard pill to swallow. life was unfair.

"y/n!" you hear yoongi's voice from the entrance outside and you sigh, taking down your hair. you look at jimin remorsefully.

"go." jimin whispers and you nod, getting up from your chair and telling yoongi to wait for you in your tent while you get changed.

after comfortably changing into sweatpants and a sweater you walk slowly to your tent, hoping that maybe yoongi would run and save himself from heartbreak. but you had to smile weakly when yoongi came into view, in all his glory, smiling like you were the whole world. your heart twisted in your chest.

"i wanna show you something."

yoongi looks at you confusedly as you uncharacteristically wrap your hands around yourself for comfort instead of holding is. yoongi frowns as he sees your melancholy face. something was wrong. the night wasn't that cold, the wind was dead, and the moon gave off enough light to see. you climbed up a hill that overlooked the ocean and the land around it. the stars could be seen so much better from up high. the starlight glittered off the surface of the water, and yoongi's breath stopped.

it was breathtaking.

"isn't it beautiful?" you remarked sadly, a small, tired smile on your lips. you don't look at yoongi as you both sit down, focusing your eyes on the stars instead.

you're even more beautiful. yoongi wanted to say, but kept his thoughts to himself.

"i want to tell you why i ran away from my home." you finally look at yoongi and your lip quivers. you look back out at the sea. "m-my, my brother was so sweet. he was older than me and he was so, so sweet to me. when mom had finished yelling at me and i was crying in my room he would steal a cookie to cheer me up. but when my mom died..he gave up. he turned to alcohol and sold drugs on the street. my dad fell apart, my whole family did. my life was crumbling right before my eyes and i couldn't do anything about it." you had never told anyone this apart from jimin, but you needed to take a leap. you needed to tell him before you left him.

"i remember the first time my brother hit me." yoongi gasps quietly but stays silent, letting you continue. "i was in bed, about to go to sleep, and my brother slammed my door open, furious. i had never seen him that mad. he looked so angry yoongi. he stomped over and grabbed me by my hair, and made me sit up. he slapped me across the face, punched my stomach, and kicked my legs. he whispered how useless i was, how it was my fault mom died, and i would be nothing but a slut." you bit back a sob and yoongi sympathetically put a hand on the small of your back, reassuring that you weren't alone.

"it continued for years, and finally my dad had had enough and hung himself from the living room fan. i was the one who found him and when i screamed for my brother, sobbing, he did nothing but punch me and laugh. but i was done being weak, i was done with the abuse. so that night i gathered what little possessions i had left and fled my house leaving nothing but a note. there was a train coming and i needed to get out of town, so without thinking i jumped on, landing in the car the circus was in. and that's how i joined. that's how i found my real family. after that day i vowed to myself that i would never be that weak again." you finished your story and broke into sobs, letting years of pent up emotions spill out. yoongi held and shushed you gently, rocking you back and forth.

"was that all you wanted to tell me?" yoongi asks and you shake your head, eyes drying.

you looked into his eyes and whimpered. he looked so hopeful.

you take a deep breath. "i...i'm leaving for america with the circus. we're packing tomorrow. i'm leaving yoongi."

they say that true love lasts forever, that no force will ever be strong enough to stop it. so when yoongi's breath stopped and so did his heart, and all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears, he stayed silent. he stayed silent when he saw the world fall away in front of him, words stuck in his throat like a dry pill. yoongi wanted to trust love. he wanted to trust that you would come back.

so unlike the cliche dramas and crappy rom-coms, yoongi didn't get on his knees and confess his undying love into the night, begging you to stay.

yoongi stayed silent, keeping his feelings in his heart, as he held you for the last time in a long time.