troubled || jj maybank

- five - *

t/w - self-blame

five. let it go

Danika elected that she wasn't going to leave her bedroom. Not only was she unable to handle socializing, she was in physical discomfort. Furthermore, she didn't want anyone to ask any questions.

Her master plan was blown when there was a quick knock on her door, followed by it being pushed open. Kelce entered the room, pulling it shut behind him.

His stomach sank at the girl who stood frozen like a deer in headlights. She was dressed in a sports bra and sweatpants, as she had been examining her body. She was standing in front of her full-body mirror, her dark hair tossed behind her shoulders.

He snapped out of his trance like state. "What happened, Danika?" he questioned sharply, walking over to the girl to close the gap.

A large bruise was around her neck like a necklace, a small cut on her bottom lip in the right corner. There was slight swelling near her cheekbone underneath her left eye, the area being a twinge of red. As exposed by her sports bra, he could see the bruises lining her abdomen. Due to her low-rise sweatpants, he noted the particular, darker bruising by the corners of her pelvis. It was similar at the top of her ribs also.

He reached down, grabbing her arms and flipping them, examining them for any further injury. There was more bruising on the inside of her pale wrists.

Her eyes fell to the floor as Kelce released her arms and brought his hand up to the side of her face to gently rub where it was swollen. She jumped at the sudden sensation in the area that had been so roughly touched just hours earlier. His heart shattered at her reaction.

"I, uh, I don't want to talk about it." Her voice was quiet, the words being hardly audible. She could feel tears well in her eyes from Kelce's concern.

He kept his eyes focused on the small girl, his hand falling from her cheek. "Danika, you were assaulted-"

"I don't want to talk about it right now, Kelce." She held anger in her voice. The more Kelce spoke, the more she recalled the previous night. All she wanted to do was forget. He pulled his hand from her cheek, his hands falling at his side. He was completely blindsided by the situation. "What did you need?"

"What?" he questioned, slightly taken aback as he glanced over at the girl. The conversation had turned, leading to Kelce dropping the third-degree. If she refused to speak of it, she wasn't going to.

"You came here for something, right?" she assumed, glancing over his shoulder instead of at his face. She knew that if she made eye contact with him the tears that were threatening to fall would most definitely spill over.

He swallowed. "I, uh, was going to take you to lunch." He couldn't help but stare at the girl's fresh injuries. "I can go get some takeout if you want or something."

While seeing anyone right now was the last thing she wanted, Danika nodded anyway. "Okay."

His face lit up slightly at her approval of the idea. "Okay?" he confirmed, Danika swallowing the lump burning the back of her throat and nodding. He was surprised at her agreement due to the situation and the mood she seemed to be in, not that he blamed her. "I'll be back in like, twenty." He then turned, slipping out of her room, his keys jingling with him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Danika wasn't entirely sure how long she keep up the facade that nothing had truly occurred and that she was unbothered.

Truth be told, she felt crushed. The three separate showers she had taken in the last twenty four hours were not enough to make her feel even slightly cleansed. She had stared at herself in the mirror, attempting to will away the bruises. Dani thought that maybe if she rationalized them, it wouldn't be as bad as it seemed.

The bruises on her wrists, if only she had given in. If she didn't resist his advances, he wouldn't have felt the need to hold her down with all two-hundred pounds of him.

If she didn't decline his offer initially, he wouldn't have held her throat with all of his might. Additionally, there wouldn't have been a need to slap the side of her face therefore leaving the swelling in her cheek.

The bruises near her pelvis were from him holding her down underneath him, the boy balancing all of his weight on her. This was the causation of the bruises right on her ribs as well. If she had just agreed to his requests from the start, the situation would be completely different.

Her busted lip and the swelling near her eye was due to the boy pushing her face against the wall. If she hadn't of given him attitude, he wouldn't have been so aggressive.

If only she didn't go over to the house. If only she had broken it off sooner.

If only things were different.

The worst part was, Rafe Cameron had forced the envelope on making things different. She knew that she would never be able to go back to life she had led before.

How was she supposed to pretend like nothing had happened? Just ignore the Cameron's for the rest of her life?

She had the urge to disappear.

When Kelce had returned, he brought Chinese takeout. Danika's favorite was fried vegetable rice with sweet and sour chicken. She also had an appreciation for egg rolls.

He had gotten her all of her favorites, as well as Vanilla Caramel Fudge ice cream (it was her favorite Ben and Jerry's flavor) which he left in the freezer.

She didn't touch the food, leaving it open in front of her while the pair sat on the floor. Kelce was sick to his stomach, not knowing what to do in order to help her. Instead, he expressed his anger at her lack of explanation.

After she realized that God really had it out for her when Kelce walked through her bedroom door and didn't return, Danika went into her restroom after grabbing her emergency flask from her nightstand.

Dani grabbed the pill bottle labeled Benadryl, opening it. It was deceiving, as the bottle actually held Percocet.

She had already crushed it all, as she knew that when she was looking to get high, she wasn't going to want to crush it.

She poured two lines of the powder containing Oxycodone, taking one in each side. She then grabbed her flask, taking a long drink of the vodka that was inside of the square bottle.

She took a deep inhale, closing the pill bottle and placing it back in the medicine cabinet. She slammed it closed, the mirror bringing her back to reality.

Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes were red and puffy. The dark circles were more apparent than usual, Dani becoming annoyed quickly with her appearance.

She instead chose to take another sip from her flask. She put the cap on, staggering her way over to her bed. She tossed herself onto the mattress, laying on top of it with her legs all tangled up with the comforter.

She closed her eyes, the flask landing somewhere next to her. Danika just waited for the high to hit.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───