Mostly Egobang oneshots (you should be afriad)

Lol Get Cucked

Suzy creeped out of her bedroom, looking back at her husband who was soundly asleep in the bed. The silly way his greasy hair fell around his face and his adorable snore. Oh how she loved him, but oh how she loved cock more. She tiptoed down the steps, carefully trying to avoid making a peep, until she approached her prey.

She would've giggled at the awkward way that Dan was laying on the couch. He almost looked like a fuckable, little pretzel. She wanted him so bad she didn't even bother waking him before she started trying to take off his pants.

"Ashley?" Dan mumbled, half awake. Suzy shushed him through the dick in her mouth.

"Suzy is that you?" Dan wiped the sleep from his eyes, trying to make out the shape in the dark in front of him. Suzy didn't answer him, rather she didn't even finish with her mouth before hopping on top of him. Dan was confused, still barely awake, but that didn't stop him from enjoying himself. Suzy's pussy was so tight he almost forgot that this is basically rape. Pretty soon he was beginning to move with her rhythm, even moaning with pleasure.

Dan's cock was much larger than her husbands. Even half asleep he fucked harder, went deeper. She could almost leave her husband for that cock, but she needed the money. Frankly, selling wiccan shit to people who don't believe in god or vaccines doesn't pay the bills. But aw man, Dan's dick was worth converting for.

It took Dan a minute to process what exactly was happening, but when he did, he didn't care. He'd wanted to fuck Suzy since he met her, since it was so much more tantalizing to have something that you don't own. Not because Dan was a bad person per-say, just because that's the only way I (the author) can justify writing this.

In the throws of passion, the forbidden lovers couldn't resist making noise. The whole couch shook, but the sound of their own moaning masked the noise. Though all that noise, while it would've been hot in a porn, ended up being frankly impractical as Arin awoke to the noise. All he could hear was the sound of moving furniture and voices.

"AN INTRUDER!" he thought, as he grabbed the katana from under his bed that is always there.

He began to wander through the house, following the sound of the noise. As he began down the stairs, he recognized Suzy's voice. "OH NO! SUZY IS IN DANGER!" he thought, as he bolted down the stairs, katana at the ready.

As he turned the corner to find his best friend, balls deep in the woman he loves, he slammed his toe into the wall. How the fuck did he even do that? Wow what a dumbass. Get cucked loser, have fun with your toe pain. Arin dropped his katana and screamed in pain as he coincidentally stumbled across the adulterous scene before him.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Arin asked in surprised horror.

"Ha! Get cucked!" Suzy laughed at her shrimp-dicked-ass husband before her.

"Suzy, get off of him! Bad! Go back to bed, you scared the shit out of me!" Arin yelled through discomfort like a disappointed parent.

Suzy did as she was told. Hopping off Dan, she turned back and gave him a wink. As she passed her husband, she stuck her tongue out at her husband to mock him like a child would.

"God-fucking-damnit, Dan. If I hadn't just inconveniently slammed my toe into the wall, I'd want to talk to you about this. But just...goddamnit. Go to bed, we're discussing this in the morning."

Dan sat there, horrified over what just happened to him. What was up with Suzy? Had Dan just accidentally fucked up his whole career? Why did Suzy fuck him? So many questions, but Dan was just gonna have to wait until the morning to explain himself. He ended up not being able to sleep at all. He just sat up all night, thinking about what he was going to say to Arin in the morning.

The next morning, Dan was fixing Arin and himself a cup of coffee as Arin came downstairs. "Hey, dude, I'm so sorry about what happened last night. She just came onto me. I didn't know what to do--:" Arin cut him off.

"Hey, I'm not mad. Just ask me next time before you fuck my wife so I can watch."

"....what?"