Locker Room Lust[BXB]

11

As promised heres the new chapter. I hope you guys like it, sorry it took so long.

Jamie's POV

Holy crap.

I can't believe I just did that. I mean it was pretty harmless but still, what if he reads into it and figures it all out?! I mean I've liked him since last year, but he and the rest of the team just see me as a kid. I dont know why I decided that kissing him was a good idea. He just looked so sad. I can't stress about any of that right now I have stuff to do.

As soon as I get inside, I head up to my room, my mom is still at the hospital working overtime so it's just me. I drop my stuff onto my floor and rush into the kitchen. I am literally starving; I swear my stomach is starting to eat itself. I end up making spaghetti and garlic bread with a ceasar salad, it's a lot of food but I'm a growing boy and I need me some nutrition. Not a lot of people know that I'm actually a pretty great cook. It's always been just me and my mom so sometimes growing up I had to make food for myself when she was at work or was just too busy. I don't mind though; I enjoy learning new recipes. I always turn up my music super loud and dance around while I cook. Speaking of, right now I'm jumping around my kitchen screaming "Hardest to Love" by the Weeknd.

I finish my spaghetti and start cleaning up my mess, so my mom doesn't have to worry about when she gets home. She's always so tired when she walks through the front door so I do the most I can before she gets here. I put some leftovers onto a plate and stretch some saran wrap over it, placing the meal on the counter for my mom when she gets off work. I get started on cleaning the rest of the house up a bit. I sweep the floors, tidy the bathroom, do the laundry and finally put away the dishes that are piling up in the drying rack. There's a faint lemon scent in the air from the cleaner I used in the bathroom.

Finally done with my nightly chores I go back up to my room and flop unceremoniously onto my bed. I take a second to just breath. Now that I'm letting myself be still for more than two seconds, I notice how tight my chest feels. The navy comforter in soft beneath me and I try to focus on that instead of the constriction of my heart. Slowly I start to feel my body start to sag into the mattress. Today was a bit overwhelming, my nerves feel fried. First at practice Eli hugged me, not just a normal hug either. He hugged me for so freaking long. It felt nice, he's so tall and strong. Then he was blushing and ruffling my hair. That kind of ruined the moment. I'm not a child. But then in the locker room he was staring at me. What was that about? He probably was just caught off guard, I don't usually shower in the locker room. I get a bit intimidated when the other guys are in there. I'm not as... developed, if you know what I mean. And then he drove me home, but he refused to talk to me the entire time. I kissed him. Stupid head. Why did I do that? He will probably tell Luca and then I will have to move back down the junior team because the other guys are going to get all weird around me. Its already hard enough around them they don't need something else to alienate me for.

Don't get me wrong I'm incredibly grateful I got the opportunity to move up to the senior team. When Luca came to tell me I literally screeched and jumped into his arms. He was a bit startled by my outburst, but he ruffled my hair and told me not to be late. I just wish the guys would see me as an equal sometimes. I'm not a baby, heck I'm only a year younger than some of them, I can take care of myself. They tip toe around me like I'm so innocent and they don't want to defile my virtue or something. They were all my age at one point too, so I don't understand why they think they are so old and wise.

I don't realize I'm crying until I see the drops on the bedspread beneath me, they turn the blanket a bit darker. I just wish I was a bit older. I feel so out of place. My team is supposed to be my family, but I constantly feel like I'm the distant cousin who that no one likes and has dropped by to visit. I just want to be seen as an equal, I want them to recognize me for my talent and who I am not my age.

I slowly drift asleep with my heart feeling heavy and tears still slowly streaming down my face.

On Monday I go early to school, mom had an extra shift this morning, so she had to drop me off before eight. I head to the locker room, when I round the corner I stop in my tracks. Eli is here. He's covered in only a towel. What the heck. Jeez his back is so muscly. My face starts heating up, but I can't look away. Eli turns around to reach into his bag but freezes when he sees me. Oh crap. I've been caught. He raises his eyebrow at me when I still stand frozen in the doorway. "Sorry, just didn't think anyone would be here yet," I squeak out.

"Uh ya, couldn't sleep so I ran here."

I nod at him and keep my eyes on the floor as I open my locker to get my math textbook.

"Um, Jamie?"

I look up at Eli who is scratching the back of neck and looking at his feet. He looks nervous.

"What's up?"

"Why did you, uh, you know?"

"what do you mean?"

"Kiss me..." he mumbles.

"Oh. I don't know, you looked stressed I guess."

He nods and I turn to leave the lockeroom. "I'll see you at practice later?" he calls out to me. I nod and continue my way out the door.

Later at practice Eli doesn't look at me. I'm so confused. One day he's hugging me and today he won't even look me in the eyes. He even goes as far as to request to be on Lucas team for the scrimmage, so he doesn't have to hit my sets. I'm not the only one who notices Eli's behavior. I catch Luca asking Eli what his problem is today. Eli says its nothing, but I know it's because of me. I don't understand why he's making a tiny kiss into such a big deal. It wasn't even a real kiss. So dramatic. I'm so frustrated with him that my sets are getting worse and worse. Eventually Luca says practice is over and he pats me on the back, silently telling me to take a break and chill out.

I storm out the gym and start walking home. I'm so mad and in my head that I don't hear the truck pull up behind me until Eli shouts, "Jamie get in." I ignore him and keep walking.

"Jamie, don't be like that, it's too far to walk."

I continue on my path not even looking at him.

"Seriously, it's going to start raining. Get in." he says a little more forcefully.

I stop walking and sigh. He's right it's a very far walk and I would rather not feel like a drowned rat.

I open the truck door and get in without saying anything. We drive in silence. When we get to my house, he turns the key in the ignition. The engine silences and now there is no sound but our breathing.

"I'm sorry, for being a dick at practice," he says.

I just stare at my hands.

He reaches over and tilts my chin up, "please look at me."

I finally look up at him, he looks so sad.

"Why are you mad at me?" I ask him. Before he can answer I say "was it because of what I did? Because I didn't mean for you to get all weird. If I knew this was going to make you hate me then I wouldn-"

Before I can finish my sentence, he kisses me. Both of his hands are holding my face as he gently presses his lips to mine. He pulls away but stays close enough to kiss me again. He looks into my eyes and I can see that he is terrified. Slowly, so I can pull away if I want, he kisses me again. This time a little longer. My body feels so warm. I kiss him back.

When he pulls away, he says quietly "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at me, for not doing that last time."

I can't stop the grin that spreads across my face.