This Hell Called Life (an Oliver Sykes love story)

Chapter 5

I sat in my room in the middle of my floor which was where I painted my devils trap under the carpet. My mother never hit me before or did anything like that. She never hit me even when I was a trouble making child. My shoulders started shaking and tears streamed down my face.

"No no no its been three months I can't give in now." I said over and over again as I looked for the small box that my blades were in. I couldn't stop myself from looking and I sat back down when I found it. I picked up one blade of many and then closed the box. My phone buzzed and it stopped me from slicing my skin with an old pencil sharper blade. It was from Austin.

"Hey Zoe just got some new strawberry flavored vodka wanna come over and try it? I know you were just here last night but please?" Well I do like strawberries and vodka so I'll have to go try it. It will help me get my mind off everything.

"Sure Aus I'll be over in twenty minutes." I replied and put my phone down. I guess that was a sign telling me not to do it again.  All of the things that anyone has ever said to me came to my mind as I started crying again.

"You're just a worthless piece of shit"
"If you died no one would care."
"No one loves you worthless."
"I'm ashamed you are my daughter."

Etc.

Most of those were said by my own mother. I wiped my tears and stood up. Mom isn't going to stop me. I slowly went up the stairs and saw she was passed out on the couch so I changed into the shirt I brought with me and hid Oli's in the closet. The back door was unlocked and closer to Austin's and I wouldn't have to walk past Oli's house and get busted by him again.

I jumped over the fence by stepping on the old play house that was by the back of the fence. That's been here for fourteen years and my mother hasn't made an effort to get rid of it. The walk to Austin's was short because I went through the back and soon I was at the door knocking. Austin opened it a few minutes later with messy hair and his plaid shirt unbuttoned with Nothing under it.

"Bad time?" I laughed as he tried to fix his hair and button his shirt.

"No You're good just wasn't expecting you for ten minutes." He said as he dropped his hands from his hair.

"Sorry I just really need to forget what happened today its been a really bad day." I looked at the ground. He hugged me and then grabbed my shoulders and led me downstairs.

"Well you came to the right place." He smiled weakly.

"Hey Al guess who's back?" He leaned over the couch and kissed his boyfriend on the lips. I want a relationship like that especially with one who does drugs and drinks with me, but I'd never ask Oli to do this stuff with me. I sat down in my spot and put my bag next to me. Because they're both gay and I'm really warm I took off my shirt and jeans. I was still in my tank top and short type underwear things. Austin just laughed and handed me a joint and a wine glass full of vodka. Damn it was really good.

Hours past and I smoked three joints and had six glasses of vodka. I could barely see or think straight. In the three of us I did the most illegal things when I stood up they pushed me down and said it wasn't a good idea for me to go anywhere.

"No guys I'm fine I swear." I slurred and fell down but stood back up and got dressed  again then started up the stairs.

"See you guys later." I said and left as quickly as I could. I saw a figure walking a few houses in front of me soon my name was being called in that familiar British accent.

"Are you Fucking kidding me?" I said to myself as I kept walking. Footsteps were heard behind me and they got closer. A hand was on my shoulder and spun me around.

"Zoey what are you doing out at night again?" Oli asked breathing heavily. I couldn't talk because he'd know I'd be drunk. The drugs wore off awhile ago but I could still feel the alcohol in my system.

"Zoe Please tell me you didn't go back over to that house." He said with a little bit of hope in his voice. I just looked at him and shook my head.

"Oli I'm sorry but my mom came home and she was like pissed drunk and she kinda pushed me down the stairs then it brought back some bad memories and I just had to go back." I fell into his open arms and started crying.

"Zoey I'm so sorry. Well I'm not letting you go back to your house like this so come on." He sighed as he kissed my head then put me on his back. I kept crying and saying I'm sorry but he just told me to stop apologizing. When we got to his house we went to his room again and he set me down on the bed. I sat there for a minute just crying softly then got up and ran to the bathroom. I threw up for a few seconds then stopped and Oli came into the room and held my hair back.

I completely emptied my stomach of everything and I could feel my stomach getting smaller each time I puked. I wiped my mouth on some toilet paper then flushed the toilet.

"Are you okay?" Oli asked as we sat down on his bed. Well he sat down I laid down down with my head on his lap.

"Yeah I guess. Are you okay? You're not mad that I went back?" I bit my lip and looked at his face.

"I'm okay and no I'm not mad just a little sad because that all happened to you." He kissed my forehead. "Its been a long day for you I bet so let's get some rest dear." He laid down and pulled me with him. I got back up and took my shirt off again and my jeans like I did before but this time Oli didn't try and not look at me.

"Wow Oli why aren't you trying to hid the blush on your pretty face." I took a step towards the bed and sat down. He bit his lip and smiled.

"Because I know you like me like that too." He said as he pulled me down next to him.

"God I didn't know it was possible for a human being to be as attractive as you are." He bit his lip again.

"Alright Oli no sex... at least not now." I kissed his forehead. He pretended to pout and be mad but he agreed and kissed me. Why would I hesitate to kiss him back? I talked without breaking the kiss and said

"See I told you I promised we would do this soon." He just smiled and laughed. I played with the hem on the bottom of shirt and slid my hands under his shirt and touched every inch of his chest before moving my hands and lifting the shirt over his head parting our lips for just a second. He pulled away so he could catch his breath and get used to the freezing room without his shirt on. I took this time to look at all of his tattoos. He had so many and they were all so cool.

"I love your tattoos." I said as I pushed my lips back to his when he noticed I was checking him out. He kissed me and pushed me back down on the bed before crawling on top of me. I just laughed and pulled away.

"Ooh I'm guessing you like to top?" I joked and kept laughing. He bit his lip before talking.

"Haha very funny but I've never had sex before." I was so shocked how could an attractive lad such as he never had sex before.

"Wow who would've guessed the incredibly sexy Oliver Sykes was still a virgin at age 17? Not me. I would've guessed that you were a sex machine back in England." I kissed his lips. "But I'm a virgin also so..." I trailed off and hid my face in his shoulder.

"Wow I'm so shocked. But.... maybe... one day... we could do it together?" He said kinda quietly.

I kissed his chest and said "Maybe but for now I just want to fall asleep in your arms and wake up to your beautiful face." He laughed and agreed before laying down and pulling me in his arms.

"Goodnight Zoey." He kissed my head.

"Goodnight Oli." I kissed his chest again before falling into a deep sleep.