This Hell Called Life (an Oliver Sykes love story)

Chapter 12

After two hours of trying to sleep and failing I stared at the glowing numbers on the clock. It was only 1:25 AM. I rubbed my eyes then picked up my journal and scribbled.

"I have pushed a blade to my neck one too many times. More than the correct amount of pills have been swallowed more than once. The thought of jumping off a tall building has flashed my mine a hundred times. I have wanted to end my life since I was eleven and I think it might be soon. A gun will be in my hands before you realise it.The bottle of pills that were supposed to help me will be gone before they were supposed to be. The knife under my pillow will be missing. You'll be cleaning you my blood before you can cry. You'll be burying my body under the ground before I'm given a second thought."

After the words were perfectly on the page I set my journal down and grabbed my book. My eyes scanned the pages and kept the information I learned in to my head. I never heard the drunken uneven footsteps of my mother and I got curious. So I pushed the blanket off my bony legs and instead of shorts I slipped on a pair of pyjama bottoms and quietly made my way up the stairs. My little Sammy was sleeping under the kitchen table. My mother's car was in the driveway so I knew she was home.

I checked her bedroom and she wasn't there. I checked the bathrooms and the spare bedroom she wasn't in any of them. I slowly made my way to the door and opened it. My mother was sitting her car but wasn't moving.

I opened her car door and took her pulse. I couldn't find one. I knew she was dead but I didn't say anything. My voice cracked as I shook her shoulders and screamed her name getting louder each time.

"Mom wake up. Mom wake up! April you have to wake up! Mother please wake up!" Alright Alright don't bullshit me with the 'she abused you' crap. She was all I had left. I knew she cared but she didn't Show it. I cares about her but I never showed it either. Yeah Yeah I know I know. She was a bitch who ignored me and beat me. But if she had the chance to apologize I know that she would.

I ran into the house and called 911. After I hung up I heard the sirens of the police cars and ambulance and fire trucks. The neighbors exited their homes as soon as the ambulance was on our street. Oli and his mom and her girlfriend were running over. As soon as Oli was close enough I fell into his arms and cried. He stroked my hair and kissed my head.

Stacey and Julia patted my back tried to comfort me. The people in the ambulance grabbed a gurney and ran over to my mom's car carefully taking her body out of the car and into the back of the ambulance. The police officers came over to us.

"Which one of Y'all called for an ambulance? " the one with the brown hair and thick southern accent asked.

I slowly raised my hand and moved my head away from Oli's chest but not moving away from him. He wrapped his arms around me held me close.

"Is my mother going to be Okay?" I asked softly. The police officers both shook their heads slowly. They explained how she had so much alcohol in her system that it stopped her heart. I guess that explains why there were so many bottles of bear and vodka in her car. The police left with the fire truck after telling me that I could go to the hospital if I wanted but I declined. I knew she was dead. I knew I was alone.

I knew that Nothing would ever be Okay again. As soon as everything started to get better, something made it just as bad if not twice as bad. As it was before. Why can't anything go right in my God damn life?